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1 # 小教君
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2 # 使用者73399968328
進了考場以後,還整個非常害怕隔壁不斷在咳嗽的同學(各位,當時全世界還在對抗SARS!每個人都有發一個口罩,整個去考試好像去打仗一樣)。很快的,就跟在家聽「錄音帶」做練習一樣(對,當年只有會絞帶的cassette,真的只有十年前嗎?!怎麼好像上輩子),跟著考場人員的指示,一步一步做完了聽力、閱讀跟完全不知自己在寫什麼的寫作(一個只有念過專科的人,怎麼可能會有機會用英文描述圖表... 真的非常崩潰)。
出了考場,先是交了一個朋友,我問她閱讀第三篇到底在講什麼,她才很震撼的發現閱讀有三篇,不是隻有兩篇(這時我居然有點幸災樂禍的覺得幸好不是隻有我搞不清楚狀況,想不到這個善心人士還開車載我去考口試,真對不住她...)。然後又在考場外跟一個多年沒見面的朋友久別重逢(這個朋友就是尼泊爾三人組的成員之一,我們在2012年一同去爬了喜馬拉雅山... 的山腳),兩人聊得天花亂墜,所以當我下午兩點終於到達口試的考場,已經完全不在乎口試到底會不會過了。
所以,當我發現考口試,居然是跟真的人,真的英華人,面對面講十五分鐘時,我其實是嚇到的(對,當年託福根本沒有在考口試,我居然以為雅思口試是跟全民英檢一樣,用錄音帶考試,完全沒有熟讀那本IELTS手冊)。但坐定後,我堅強的拿出英文老師的專業,明明就腳很挫,但還是故作鎮定。很快的,考官的問題就連珠炮的一個一個丟出來。(所有被考的題目都在這範圍裡面->里茲螞蟻整理出來的雅思口說考古題)
我第一次上場,因為不知道考官偏好什麼樣的答案,所以就像跟隨便一個路人聊天一樣,他問什麼就答什麼,不假思索。但基本上可以感覺得出來,考官跟我的互動還蠻好的,考完還按掉錄音機,問我在哪裡學英文的。然後我就Thank you very much, 夾著尾巴逃走。
這次的分數是七分。
以前的雅思是三個月內不淮再報考的,哪像現在你有錢就可以週週考!週週送!所以,三個月後,我再度上場(因為第一次考試前完全沒練過writing,書後面只有幾篇範本,我一篇作文都沒練習寫過所以失敗。但我一點也不覺得可恥,再度努力上場),不瞞大家說,我仍然跟上次一樣,心裡知道要好好準備,但是受限於兩份工作(對,三份辭掉一份了),我的準備過程,根本還是沒有碰到口說這一塊。但是,這次我知道,不要再像上次一樣,用聊天的口氣,每一個問題,我都非常謹慎的回答。以下是我得到八分的殘缺的回憶:
Examiner: Are you a student or do you work?
Me: I work two jobs. In the morning I work in a publishing company and in the evening I teach children English.
Examiner: Do you like shopping?
Me: Yes. I love shopping.
Examiner: What do you usually buy?
Me: I often buy accessories like earrings, shoes... and sunglasses.
Examiner: Where do you go shopping?
Me: There’s a Japanese boutique my friend and I go quite often. The lady working there knows what I like, so when she has something new, she calls us and asks us to go.
Examiner (好像對於日本精品店充滿好奇心): What’s special about this boutique?
Me: Hum… it’ s quite small, but it’s got almost everything, from clothing to shoes. I mean, I only need to make a trip there but I can get everything I need.
Examiner (大概因為我不是跟大家一樣,都講百貨公司,他居然主動提起百貨公司): Do you go to department stores?
Me: Not really. I don’t know if you’ve been to the department store on the weekend. It’s packed with people and children. I teach children English and the last thing I want to see on the weekend is children!
Examiner (還是非常想問精品店的事): What’s the difference between shopping at a department store and shopping at a boutique?
Me (什麼鬼啊): Hum… I personally don’t really go shopping at the department store because I don’t usually see what I like there. Even if I do, a T-shirt may have three different colours and five difference sizes, that means I might be wearing something that many people wear. I don’t like that. But, in a Japanese boutique, you see more things with a personality.
Examiner (仍然不放棄這個話題): So why do people go to the department store?
Me (我怎麼知道?!): Well, I think most people go to the department store as a family activity. They bring their children there and spend the entire day there. They eat at the food court and read at the bookshop. In summer, they can enjoy free air conditioning. I don’t know, I can’t remember the last time I went to a department store.
接下來又問了幾組蠻尋常的話題...
終於結束Part 1。接下來,他居然把前面的20個人被問的卡片題(What’s your favourite season?)放回去很厚的檔案夾(馬的,我在外面偷聽到大家都被問四季,我還在外面偷偷準備很久),然後再拿出一張新的,題目是Talk about your favourite TV programme.天哪,我根本就沒有看電視!我每天忙得要命,哪有時間看電視!於是,驚嚇了一陣子以後,我還是硬著頭皮在考官給我的小紙片上做筆記,一分鐘之後,他問我Are you ready? 我也只好硬著頭皮開始講...
I don’t have time to watch TV at all. I live a very busy life with multiple jobs. So it’s difficult for me to come up with a TV programme to talk about. I can only tell you what my mum watches every day. When I go home at night, she’s always watching a Taiwanese soap opera called “臺灣霹靂火.”
It’s a stupid TV programme about violence, sex and all kinds of negative images you can think of. I don’t even understand why this programme is allowed to be shown on TV at dinner time, when the whole family gets together eating dinner and watching TV. …
接下來我就開始不斷的一直批評這個節目,完全沒有提到劇情,因為我只知道劉文聰很賤,但不太知道詳情。罵了兩分鐘後...
第三部份開始了。
Examiner: Do you think this programme is popular?
Me: Yes, extremely. Everyone talks about it and my mum watches it twice a day.
Examiner: Why is it so popular?
Me (我怎麼知道,我就說了我很不喜歡): Hum… To be honest with you, I don’t know! I guess it’s because most people are bored and have nothing to do. Their lives are so boring that they need to see how miserable other people are. They especially love to see bad things happen to other people. I guess some people feel good about themselves after watching this kind of programmes.
Examiner (感覺非常滿意我的答案): So in your opinion, what kind of TV programmes should be on TV?
Me (戴上教育家的眼鏡): Educational programmes of course! Like the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet Channel and so on.
Examiner (羞辱的哼了我一聲): Who wants to watch TV then? (我不確定這是不是他當時正確的用字,但反正意思就是想虧我,誰會想看教育性的節目)
Me: Well, if that’s the only choice on TV, people HAVE TO watch it. (心想,啊你沒有聽過北韓只有一臺電視臺嗎)
反正接下來,他又問了我一堆誰應該來決定什麼電視節目比較好之類的問題,而這些問題在我學生寫的考試回憶分享中都還是不斷的在被考著。這次,我就得了八分。當年口說跟寫作,是沒有點五的,現在變成有點五的,其實難度已經降低了。
IELTS口試的評分的重點,就是這四項:
1. IELTS口試評四項分數-Fluency and Coherence,Lexical Resource,Grammatical Range and Accuracy,Pronunciation。四項都要好,才會得到高分。所以不要一昧的在「單字」上鑽牛角尖。我看過好多學生總是努力去查最難的字,譬如講your favourite vegetable,就想要講花椰菜裡含有「花青素」,不然就是想講蕃茄,然後硬要查「茄紅素」的英文。或是突然講出一個很怪的發音的字,搞了半天原來是去他去查了華人很「孝順」的英文,翻譯機寫filial obedience,然後就自己亂念。總之,自然就是美,我覺得一開始,應該是把基礎文法先搞定,第三人稱有沒有加S,過去式有沒有用對,可數名詞前面有沒有加a, 後面有沒有加s,整體流利度有沒有結結巴巴,有沒有儘量多用一點不同的形容詞,譬如叫你形容臺北,就是一個字convenient,而且詞性還用錯講Taipei is convenience (x),發音有沒有確實,長音髮長,短音發短,還是I live in Daan District講成I leave in Daan District害我們以為你要說你要去大安區然後整個搞得很謉異。我上面給的例答乍看都很簡單,但是若同學能真的正確無誤流利自然的講出來,已經很厲害了。不要被某些老師或大陸書籍故意用上的艱澀單字給嚇到了。如果英文到了七分以上的程度,用大字會得更高分(只是還是讓人感覺做作無比-有沒有看過比爾蓋茲甚至歐巴馬的演講?他們都是頭腦清楚邏輯合理的演講者,演講內容聽起來像海倫xx絲一樣順暢,但沒有人會覺得他們英文不好),但如果眼前還是有很多零散的文法錯或發音錯,人家會覺得,你為什麼不把基本功先做好,就想要練龜派氣功呢。不過對於已經有七分,想追求八分的同學,你應該做的是,是多學慣用法(譬如上面用過的The last thing I want to do is + 原形動詞),而不是去搞大字,或是把作文整篇用嘴巴背出來。
2. 關於到底要回什麼,其實只要內容緊咬著題目,其實講什麼都可以,我第一次考的時候講我喜歡電音(dance music),然後我講臺灣人都覺得電音是瞌藥的人聽的,考官大概覺得很有趣,還問我都去哪些舞廳。第二次講“臺灣霹靂火”,但我完全都沒提到劇情,因為我覺得我已經講了我都沒在看,我當然可以不要講劇情。一般考生有時太緊張,就會陷入某種狗咬尾巴的情況而講出一些沒邏輯的句子,譬如I like blue because it"s my favourite colour. 但基本上我覺得大家的問題都是長期受填鴨式教育導致無法思考,而且是在外國考官面前當場要思考出來一個答案,當然就很容易變成炮灰了。
3. 平常就要訓練自己要下三步棋,如果考官問你喜歡什麼食物,同學來上過我的課了,很快的講出 I eat a lot of Korean food. 記得要立刻在心裡想想為什麼你喜歡南韓菜跟一道南韓菜的名字,譬如I love spice food and Korean kimchi is one of my favourite foods.最好再來個兩句 There’s a fantastic Korean restaurant near SogoDepartment Store. My family and I go there almost once a week. 或是屁說你阿媽會做泡菜。只是,要虎爛,也麻煩有一點節制好嗎。我有一個一對一學生,跟我練習口說時,練到最近的熱門考題 Talk about a friend you admire. 她居然就說 I have a friend who was born without arms and legs. 我聽到差點沒嗆到,我問她說,你怎麼會認識沒手沒腳的人,她還說是鄰居....
4. 考官的工作,就是坐在那裡聽我們講答案,所以你覺得他們聽到同一個答案譬如觀光客來臺灣,你會推薦他去哪,大家都講Taipei 101跟night market(然後night market都沒加s,不然前面也要加個the好嗎)到了200次以上,他還能夠裝出很開心的表情問你說,Really? Why is that? 當然,我學生的考試分享中,常常提到有些考官臉超臭,表情超不悅,甚至在Hello UK上,我看過一個女生的分享,說只要她向口音極重的考官表達聽不懂,考官就「嘖」一聲,感覺非常不屑,這的確是太過份了。如果你的工作就是拿錢打分數,可以做的開心一點吧。聽到考生英文很不好,可以扣分,給低分,但當下表情可能不要這樣讓人洩氣吧!在考官對你不理不睬還要自high的不斷的一直碎碎念,實在是一個挑戰。所以,解決辦法:
A. 想想有沒有理由可以支援你剛講的答案,如果沒有,就快點換答案吧!如果你自己都沒去過101,也不覺得有去的必要,那你好歹說一句 I think tourists usually go to the most famous spot when they visit a place. At least they can take a picture there and post it on-line to show their friends that they’ve been there. 如果你可以講出這樣的答案,相信我,一定有七分了。
B. 面對臉很臭的人,或是手一直在做自己的事的人,你還必須要一直講話?找你的老闆來當練習吧!相信在職場上,大家天天都有這樣的機會。
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最後,就祝大家好運了!
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我遇到過雅思8分以上和一些單科滿分的同學,這一類的學生自律性比較強,能對自己很有要求,對自己將來的規劃有一個明確的近期或者是遠期的目標,和其他一些學生比較下來,更加顯得有自信心