女孩子不會忘記第一個喜歡過的男孩。甚至是尷尬的過去 A girl will never forget the first boy she likes。Even if things don’t quite work out。
但通常會有人來說些安撫神傷的智慧話語But usually someone is there to office words of wisdom。你知道那小男孩為什麼這麼做這麼說嗎？因為他喜歡你 do you know why that Little boy did those things and said those things？it’s because he likes you。
就是這樣，這就是我們糾結的開端 And there it is。That’s the beginning of our problem。這個小男孩欺負你，是因為他迷上你了That Little boy is doing those terrible because he’s got a crush on you。
Do you know what this means？we’re all encourage…no，programmed …to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk…that means he likes you。
問題是這樣的：只因他太愛你了。你這麼漂亮又如此迷人。沒錯，他處理不來。
Here’s the problem：he likes you too much。You’re too pretty and too awesome。Yes，he can’t handle it 。
顯然，那個叫phi delt 的喜歡你。我肯定他只是弄丟了你的號碼 That Phi Delt so obviously liked you 。I’m sure he just lost your number
他不敢約你出去，是因為他被你成功的事業嚇到了 He’s not asking you out because he’s intimidated by your professional success。
他不約你，是被你豐富的感情經歷嚇到了He’s not asking you out ，because he’s scarf you emotional maturity。
相信我，這只是因為他剛結束一段刻骨銘心的感情 Trust me，it’s because he’s just getting out of a serious relationship。
相信我，這是因為他從未有過一段刻骨銘心的感情 Trust me，it’s because he’s had a serious relationship。他可能忘了你住哪間茅舍。或者被獅子吃掉了 I’m sure he just forget your hut number。Or was eaten by a lion 。
Why do we say this stuff to each other？is it possible that it’s because we’re too scared…and it’s too hard to say the one obvious truth…that’s staring everyone in the face？
所以你覺得他們結婚是好事……但你沒覺得我們一直沒結婚其實很違背自然常理麼？
Well，so you think it’s great that they’re getting married …but you don’t ever feel like we’re going against nature ，or something…by not getting married？
不，違背自然常理是指貓咪給猴子餵奶。而我們只是恰巧沒有結婚而已。讓我告訴你吧，結婚的人都不可靠。
No，going against nature is like the cat who suckled that monkey 。you and I are just two people who happen not to be married。Let me tell you something，people who get married are not be trusted。
They’re not 。 you know why ？because if you so legitimately happy ，honestl…you wouldn’t feel the need to make a big show out of it。You wouldn’t have to broadcast it 。they do it because they’reinsecure…and they think getting married’s what they’re supposed to be doing。So they’re lying to themselves and to other people 。
If a guy doesn’t call me ，I would like to reserve the right to call him at 15-minute intervals until he picks up 。but if he looks down and sees my numbers …he’s gonna think I’m some kind of pasycho or something，which I’m not 。
conor 不會打電話給你的Conor’s never gonna call you。
真的麼，你怎麼知道的？Oh，really。How do you know？
因為我也是個男人，這就是我們的方式。Because I’m a guy ，and it’s just how we do it。
Yeah，but my friends Terri once went out with a guy who never called。She totally wrote him off，over a year by ，right，she ran into him ，and it ended up that…
你朋友Terri是個傻瓜，她也是個例外……順道提一句，是很少很少的例外Your friend Terri’s an idiot。She’s also the exception…by the way ，the rare exception。
好吧，好吧，但是萬一我也是例外呢？Okay ，okay，but what if I’m the exception？
Look，I know what blowing off a woman looks like，okay？I do it early ，I do it often。So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit…he genuinely doesn’t give a shit，no exception。
女孩子不會忘記第一個喜歡過的男孩。甚至是尷尬的過去 A girl will never forget the first boy she likes。Even if things don’t quite work out。
但通常會有人來說些安撫神傷的智慧話語But usually someone is there to office words of wisdom。你知道那小男孩為什麼這麼做這麼說嗎？因為他喜歡你 do you know why that Little boy did those things and said those things？it’s because he likes you。
就是這樣，這就是我們糾結的開端 And there it is。That’s the beginning of our problem。這個小男孩欺負你，是因為他迷上你了That Little boy is doing those terrible because he’s got a crush on you。
你知道這什麼意思？我們都被鼓勵著去……不，是被設定了……去相信這個事實——如果一個男人做點蠢事……就意味著他喜歡你。
Do you know what this means？we’re all encourage…no，programmed …to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk…that means he likes you。
問題是這樣的：只因他太愛你了。你這麼漂亮又如此迷人。沒錯，他處理不來。
Here’s the problem：he likes you too much。You’re too pretty and too awesome。Yes，he can’t handle it 。
顯然，那個叫phi delt 的喜歡你。我肯定他只是弄丟了你的號碼 That Phi Delt so obviously liked you 。I’m sure he just lost your number
他不敢約你出去，是因為他被你成功的事業嚇到了 He’s not asking you out because he’s intimidated by your professional success。
他不約你，是被你豐富的感情經歷嚇到了He’s not asking you out ，because he’s scarf you emotional maturity。
相信我，這只是因為他剛結束一段刻骨銘心的感情 Trust me，it’s because he’s just getting out of a serious relationship。
相信我，這是因為他從未有過一段刻骨銘心的感情 Trust me，it’s because he’s had a serious relationship。他可能忘了你住哪間茅舍。或者被獅子吃掉了 I’m sure he just forget your hut number。Or was eaten by a lion 。
為什麼我們要說這些互相安慰的話？可能是因為我們害怕……也很難開口承認這個明顯的事實……這都寫在大家臉上了。
Why do we say this stuff to each other？is it possible that it’s because we’re too scared…and it’s too hard to say the one obvious truth…that’s staring everyone in the face？
所以你覺得他們結婚是好事……但你沒覺得我們一直沒結婚其實很違背自然常理麼？
Well，so you think it’s great that they’re getting married …but you don’t ever feel like we’re going against nature ，or something…by not getting married？
不，違背自然常理是指貓咪給猴子餵奶。而我們只是恰巧沒有結婚而已。讓我告訴你吧，結婚的人都不可靠。
No，going against nature is like the cat who suckled that monkey 。you and I are just two people who happen not to be married。Let me tell you something，people who get married are not be trusted。
確實不可靠，你知道為什麼嗎？因為如果你真的覺得幸福，老實說……你就不需要去做場結婚秀來展示。你也不需要宣揚。他們之所以這樣做，是沒有安全感……他們覺得結婚是必須做的事。他們騙了自己也騙了他人。
They’re not 。 you know why ？because if you so legitimately happy ，honestl…you wouldn’t feel the need to make a big show out of it。You wouldn’t have to broadcast it 。they do it because they’reinsecure…and they think getting married’s what they’re supposed to be doing。So they’re lying to themselves and to other people 。
如果一個男人沒給我打電話，我有權每15分鐘給他打一次電話，直到他接為止。但是如果他看到是我的號碼……他就會覺得我有毛病，但我不是。
If a guy doesn’t call me ，I would like to reserve the right to call him at 15-minute intervals until he picks up 。but if he looks down and sees my numbers …he’s gonna think I’m some kind of pasycho or something，which I’m not 。
conor 不會打電話給你的Conor’s never gonna call you。
真的麼，你怎麼知道的？Oh，really。How do you know？
因為我也是個男人，這就是我們的方式。Because I’m a guy ，and it’s just how we do it。
他說了跟我見面很開心。He said it was nice meeting me 。
不管他是不是跟你說，你就是……除了他媽和Joanie Cunningham 之外……他心中最理想的女性。已經過了一個星期，Gigi他都沒用打給你，
I don’t care if he said you were hes favorite female since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham。Over a week went by ，okay，Gigi，？and he didn’t call you 。
But maybe he did call and I didn’t get the message。Or maybe he lost your number，or he’s out of town ，or got hit by a cab ，or his grandma died。
或者他沒有打給你，僅僅是因為他沒有興趣再見你了 Or he didn’t call because he has no interest in seeing you again。
是麼，但我朋友Terri 有次跟個從都不來電話的男人出去，她把他給甩了，一年之後，她撞見了他，最後他們……
Yeah，but my friends Terri once went out with a guy who never called。She totally wrote him off，over a year by ，right，she ran into him ，and it ended up that…
你朋友Terri是個傻瓜，她也是個例外……順道提一句，是很少很少的例外Your friend Terri’s an idiot。She’s also the exception…by the way ，the rare exception。
好吧，好吧，但是萬一我也是例外呢？Okay ，okay，but what if I’m the exception？
不，你不是，你一點都不是，事實上，你就是個常規案例。常規情況就是，如果一個男人不打電話給你，因為他不想打電話給你。
No，you’re not。You’re not at all。In fact，you’re the rule。And the rule is this：if a guy doen’t call you ，he doen’t wanna call you。
我知道男人怎樣做是在擺脫女人，好吧？我剛才還做過，家常便飯了。所以相信我，如果一個男人對待你的方式就像他毫不在乎一樣，那麼他真的是完全不在意你的，沒有例外。
Look，I know what blowing off a woman looks like，okay？I do it early ，I do it often。So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit…he genuinely doesn’t give a shit，no exception。
我們不能聽那些故事了。常規就是對你不忠的男人，根本就不把你當回事。