會拍馬屁說好聽點，就是懂得如何融洽人際關係，擅於為人處事。再說文縐縐點，趕句現在時髦的詞，那就是情商高。拍馬屁其實是門大學問，尤其是拍好領導馬屁，是職場人的必用之道。能夠和領導親近，積極溝通，建立良好的關係，進入領導的視野，就有機會把你的能力和個人魅力展現在領導面前，讓領導對你有所關注和重視，這往往是你事業成功、仕途升遷的關健。 一般人往往容易注意別人的缺點而忽略別人的優點及長處。因此，發現別人的優點並給予由衷的讚美，就成為辦公室難得的美德。無論物件是你上級、同事，還是你的下級或客戶，沒有人會因為你的讚美而動氣發怒，一定會心存感激而對你產生好感。 巧妙地運用拍馬屁手法，讓你的上級欣賞你，讓你的同事幫助你，讓你的工作得以順利完成，為每個人營運一種和諧的辦公室氣氛，同時不失去自己做人的尊嚴和修養，事業的成功也就離你不遠了。 比如在美國IT公司，管理層裡華人相當少，而印度人做管理的很多，主要原因就是華人員工大多不懂得主動去拍領導馬屁。中華人員工大多是悶頭幹活，以自己技術上的能力希望得到老闆的賞識。這種方式往往能得到領導的重視，可就是得不到重用。做起專案來華人員工經常是挑大樑的，可年終評比倒是那些平時技術並不出色，但能說會道的美華人或印度人佔了先。華人員工在美國公司乾的是賣白粉的活，拿的是賣白菜的錢。 猶太人有一句諺語應該牢記在心：“唯有讚美別人的人，才是真正值得讚美的人。” 職場必備：盤點七招最有效拍馬屁技巧 Yes, kissing ass can help you get ahead. But studies have also shown that when it’s obvious it can backfire.The following seven techniques for ingratiation and influence are most effective in moving up the corporate ladder without looking like a kiss-ass:沒錯，拍馬屁確實能幫助你平步青雲，不過研究也表明，當你的拍馬屁太過明顯的時候，那反而會弄巧成拙。下面介紹七種最有效的溜鬚拍馬之術，不僅能讓你扶搖直上，還能讓你拍馬屁也不著痕跡。
1.Frame flattery as likely to make the boss uncomfortable。…one manager noted that he commonly prefaces flattering remarks withsuch phrases as “I don’t want to embarrass you but. . . ,” or “I know you won’twant me to say this but. . . ,” or “You’re going to hate me for saying this but… 1.先抑後揚地拍馬屁。有一個經理表示，他經常面對諸如此類的恭維話語：“我不想讓你覺得尷尬，但是……”，或“我知道你不希望我提起，但是……”，或“我說了你恐怕要怪我，但是……”
2.Frame flattery as advice seeking。 …One manager suggested, “. . . if I wanted someone else to know that I admire him, rather than saying ‘I really admire you,’ I would be more likely to ask him for advice: ‘How were you able to pull off that strategy so successfully?’ something like that . . . the basic question is, how can I replicate your success?” Such questions frame flattery as an attempt to learn from alter rather as an attempt to curry favor…” 2.尋求建議式的拍馬屁。一位經理建議說，“……假如我想讓某人知道我很崇拜他，與其說‘我崇拜你’，我更傾向於向對方尋求建議：‘你怎麼能做到那麼成功地推動那條戰略的？’諸如此類。這類的模板是，我要如何複製你的成功？”這樣的馬屁就好像我是想從對方身上學到什麼，而不是想要巴結他。”
3.Argue prior to agreeing with the boss. “…A focal actormay reduce the likelihood that opinion conformity is interpreted asingratiation by challenging an influence target’s opinion prior to agreeingwith him or her. The focal actor’s expression of agreement is then more likelyto be interpreted as a genuine affirmation of alter’s opinion rather than as anattempt to curry favor…” 3.贊成老闆的意見之前先提出異議。“一個優秀的演員會先提出反對意見，再贊同老闆的意見，透過這種方式拍馬屁就會不著痕跡。因為這種贊同表現得更像是一種對別人意見的充分肯定而不是在溜鬚拍馬。”
4.Find out the boss’s position without asking him, then mention it in front of him as your own。…As one manager suggested, “. . . if you just keep agreeing with the boss it might seem like you’re sucking up . . . but if you find out the boss’ opinion on a policy from talking to his friend and then later in talking to the boss you raise the same opinion . . . it would come across as more sincere。” 4.在不問本人的前提下得知老闆的立場，然後在他面前以你的立場的形式提出。一位經理這麼說，“假如你總是同意你老闆的意見或許會顯得你在拍馬屁……但是如果你透過和老闆的朋友聊天找出了老闆關於某個政策的意見，然後在和你老闆講話時提出相同的意見……那就顯得誠懇多了。”
5.Complimenting the boss to the boss’s friend。 As one manager put it, “. . . complimenting someone to his face is kind of obvious brown-nosing, or at least suspect. If you regularly say nice things about him to his friend though, he [the influence target] will almost always find out about it eventually, and it will mean a lot more when he does。” 5.在老闆的朋友面前誇他。一位經理這麼說，“在本人面前拍馬屁顯然是非常諂媚的，至少是可疑的。但是如果你總在老闆的朋友面前說一些關於他的好話，他(你想恭維的目標)遲早會發現的，而且那對他來說也會比當面拍馬屁要更加有意義。”
6.Show the boss you have the same values。…As one manager suggested, “I’ve found that a good way to begin adiscussion is to make some reference to something that’s important to mepersonally and that I have reason to believe is important to the otherperson—sometimes it’s my religious conviction, sometimes it’s my commitment toenvironmental protection, sometimes it’s my family . . . [when asked why:]they’re more likely to trust whatever I say afterward。” 6.向老闆的價值觀看齊。一位經理說，“我發現開啟討論的一個好辦法是：從我覺得重要的觀點入手，我覺得重要的東西對其他人來說應該也是很重要的。這些重要的東西可以是宗教信仰，或者對環境保護的認同，或者是我的家人……如果對方向我詢問理由了，那麼我之後說的話就更容易被相信了。”
7.Mention a group membership that the two of you have incommon。…As one manager put it, “If I’m trying toinfluence someone I might start the conversation by mentioning a group ororganization that I know we both belong to . . . [when asked what sort ofgroup:] might be a political party, a religious organization . . . [when askedwhy:] I think it helps build trust so you can be more convincing。” 7.提起一個和你有共同點的團隊成員。一位經理說，“假如我試圖影響某人，我會透過提起一個我們都從屬於的組織或圈子來開啟對話。(如果問我有那些圈子的話)那或許是一個政治黨派，一個宗教組織”……(如果問我為什麼的話)我認為那有助於建立信任，那樣我就可以更有說服力。” 資料收集於網路。
會拍馬屁說好聽點，就是懂得如何融洽人際關係，擅於為人處事。再說文縐縐點，趕句現在時髦的詞，那就是情商高。拍馬屁其實是門大學問，尤其是拍好領導馬屁，是職場人的必用之道。能夠和領導親近，積極溝通，建立良好的關係，進入領導的視野，就有機會把你的能力和個人魅力展現在領導面前，讓領導對你有所關注和重視，這往往是你事業成功、仕途升遷的關健。 一般人往往容易注意別人的缺點而忽略別人的優點及長處。因此，發現別人的優點並給予由衷的讚美，就成為辦公室難得的美德。無論物件是你上級、同事，還是你的下級或客戶，沒有人會因為你的讚美而動氣發怒，一定會心存感激而對你產生好感。 巧妙地運用拍馬屁手法，讓你的上級欣賞你，讓你的同事幫助你，讓你的工作得以順利完成，為每個人營運一種和諧的辦公室氣氛，同時不失去自己做人的尊嚴和修養，事業的成功也就離你不遠了。 比如在美國IT公司，管理層裡華人相當少，而印度人做管理的很多，主要原因就是華人員工大多不懂得主動去拍領導馬屁。中華人員工大多是悶頭幹活，以自己技術上的能力希望得到老闆的賞識。這種方式往往能得到領導的重視，可就是得不到重用。做起專案來華人員工經常是挑大樑的，可年終評比倒是那些平時技術並不出色，但能說會道的美華人或印度人佔了先。華人員工在美國公司乾的是賣白粉的活，拿的是賣白菜的錢。 猶太人有一句諺語應該牢記在心：“唯有讚美別人的人，才是真正值得讚美的人。” 職場必備：盤點七招最有效拍馬屁技巧 Yes, kissing ass can help you get ahead. But studies have also shown that when it’s obvious it can backfire.The following seven techniques for ingratiation and influence are most effective in moving up the corporate ladder without looking like a kiss-ass:沒錯，拍馬屁確實能幫助你平步青雲，不過研究也表明，當你的拍馬屁太過明顯的時候，那反而會弄巧成拙。下面介紹七種最有效的溜鬚拍馬之術，不僅能讓你扶搖直上，還能讓你拍馬屁也不著痕跡。
1.Frame flattery as likely to make the boss uncomfortable。…one manager noted that he commonly prefaces flattering remarks withsuch phrases as “I don’t want to embarrass you but. . . ,” or “I know you won’twant me to say this but. . . ,” or “You’re going to hate me for saying this but… 1.先抑後揚地拍馬屁。有一個經理表示，他經常面對諸如此類的恭維話語：“我不想讓你覺得尷尬，但是……”，或“我知道你不希望我提起，但是……”，或“我說了你恐怕要怪我，但是……”
2.Frame flattery as advice seeking。 …One manager suggested, “. . . if I wanted someone else to know that I admire him, rather than saying ‘I really admire you,’ I would be more likely to ask him for advice: ‘How were you able to pull off that strategy so successfully?’ something like that . . . the basic question is, how can I replicate your success?” Such questions frame flattery as an attempt to learn from alter rather as an attempt to curry favor…” 2.尋求建議式的拍馬屁。一位經理建議說，“……假如我想讓某人知道我很崇拜他，與其說‘我崇拜你’，我更傾向於向對方尋求建議：‘你怎麼能做到那麼成功地推動那條戰略的？’諸如此類。這類的模板是，我要如何複製你的成功？”這樣的馬屁就好像我是想從對方身上學到什麼，而不是想要巴結他。”
3.Argue prior to agreeing with the boss. “…A focal actormay reduce the likelihood that opinion conformity is interpreted asingratiation by challenging an influence target’s opinion prior to agreeingwith him or her. The focal actor’s expression of agreement is then more likelyto be interpreted as a genuine affirmation of alter’s opinion rather than as anattempt to curry favor…” 3.贊成老闆的意見之前先提出異議。“一個優秀的演員會先提出反對意見，再贊同老闆的意見，透過這種方式拍馬屁就會不著痕跡。因為這種贊同表現得更像是一種對別人意見的充分肯定而不是在溜鬚拍馬。”
4.Find out the boss’s position without asking him, then mention it in front of him as your own。…As one manager suggested, “. . . if you just keep agreeing with the boss it might seem like you’re sucking up . . . but if you find out the boss’ opinion on a policy from talking to his friend and then later in talking to the boss you raise the same opinion . . . it would come across as more sincere。” 4.在不問本人的前提下得知老闆的立場，然後在他面前以你的立場的形式提出。一位經理這麼說，“假如你總是同意你老闆的意見或許會顯得你在拍馬屁……但是如果你透過和老闆的朋友聊天找出了老闆關於某個政策的意見，然後在和你老闆講話時提出相同的意見……那就顯得誠懇多了。”
5.Complimenting the boss to the boss’s friend。 As one manager put it, “. . . complimenting someone to his face is kind of obvious brown-nosing, or at least suspect. If you regularly say nice things about him to his friend though, he [the influence target] will almost always find out about it eventually, and it will mean a lot more when he does。” 5.在老闆的朋友面前誇他。一位經理這麼說，“在本人面前拍馬屁顯然是非常諂媚的，至少是可疑的。但是如果你總在老闆的朋友面前說一些關於他的好話，他(你想恭維的目標)遲早會發現的，而且那對他來說也會比當面拍馬屁要更加有意義。”
6.Show the boss you have the same values。…As one manager suggested, “I’ve found that a good way to begin adiscussion is to make some reference to something that’s important to mepersonally and that I have reason to believe is important to the otherperson—sometimes it’s my religious conviction, sometimes it’s my commitment toenvironmental protection, sometimes it’s my family . . . [when asked why:]they’re more likely to trust whatever I say afterward。” 6.向老闆的價值觀看齊。一位經理說，“我發現開啟討論的一個好辦法是：從我覺得重要的觀點入手，我覺得重要的東西對其他人來說應該也是很重要的。這些重要的東西可以是宗教信仰，或者對環境保護的認同，或者是我的家人……如果對方向我詢問理由了，那麼我之後說的話就更容易被相信了。”
7.Mention a group membership that the two of you have incommon。…As one manager put it, “If I’m trying toinfluence someone I might start the conversation by mentioning a group ororganization that I know we both belong to . . . [when asked what sort ofgroup:] might be a political party, a religious organization . . . [when askedwhy:] I think it helps build trust so you can be more convincing。” 7.提起一個和你有共同點的團隊成員。一位經理說，“假如我試圖影響某人，我會透過提起一個我們都從屬於的組織或圈子來開啟對話。(如果問我有那些圈子的話)那或許是一個政治黨派，一個宗教組織”……(如果問我為什麼的話)我認為那有助於建立信任，那樣我就可以更有說服力。” 資料收集於網路。