I have always been tall, decidedly tall. Yet, my curiosity has always surpassed my height. Starting at a young age, I would ask countless questions, from “How heavy is the Earth?” to “Where does rain come from?” My curiosity, displayed in questions like these, has truly defined me as a person and as a student. Therefore, it is not surprising that I became transfixed the first time I played 20Q (the electronic version of Twenty Questions). Somehow, a little spherical device guessed what I was thinking. The piece of technology sparked my curiosity and instilled in me a unique interest in 20Q. This interest would later reveal valuable character traits of mine while also paralleling various facets of my life.
“Does it strive to learn?”
“Yes.”
I became determined to discover how 20Q guessed correctly. After some research, I discovered artificial intelligence, more specifically, artificial neural networks—systems which learn and improve themselves. This idea fascinated me. I wanted to learn more. I read avidly, seeking and absorbing as much information as I could. When given the opportunity years later, I signed up for the first computer programming class available to me. I found myself in an environment I loved. I would stay after class, go in during free periods, make my own apps, and work over Cloud-based IDEs. I prized the freedom and the possibilities.
“Is it driven?”
“Yes.”
After my introduction to 20Q, I began to play Twenty Questions (the traditional parlor game) and became determined to rival the guessing accuracy of the artificial intelligence. At first I was mediocre. However, through long car rides with family, good-natured yet heated competitions with friends, logical strategy, and time, I became more effective. I discovered the “secrets” to success: practice and perseverance.
“Does it apply what it learns?”
“Yes.”
As 20Q implements what it learns, so do I. Throughout high school, I applied the “secret” of practice to my basketball career. I spent countless hours sharpening my skills in 90° summer heat to 20° late-winter cold, countless afternoons playing pickup games with my friends, and countless weekends traveling to AAU basketball tournaments. As a result, I became a starter for my school’s varsity team. I applied another “secret,” this time the “secret” of perseverance, by dedicating myself to physical therapy after knee surgery in order to quickly return to football. Later that year, I became the first player in my grade to score a varsity touchdown.
“Does it attempt to better itself?”
“Yes.”
Once I became proficient at Twenty Questions, I strengthened my resolve to become masterful. To do so, I needed to become a skillful inquisitor and to combine that with my analytical nature and interpersonal skills, all of which are vital for success in Twenty Questions. Because I had been debating politics with my friends since the 8th grade, I recognized that debate could sharpen these skills. I began to debate more frequently (and later more effectively) in English and government class, at the lunch table and family gatherings, and whenever the opportunity presented itself. This spurred in me an interest for how public policy and government work, leading me to attend Boys State and receive a nomination for The United States Senate Youth Program.
“Does it think deeply?”
“Yes.”
So far, I have realized that thriving at Twenty Questions, just like life, is all about tenacity, rationality and interpersonal skills. I have found that, as in Twenty Questions, always succeeding is impossible; however, by persevering through difficulties and obstacles, favorable outcomes are often attainable. As I have become better at Twenty Questions, so too have I improved in many other aspects of my life. Nonetheless, I realize that I still have unbounded room to grow. And much like 20Q, I will continue to learn throughout my life and apply my knowledge to everything I do.
一篇優秀的文書足以助你脫穎而出，而不好的文書也可能對申請造成致命傷。什麼樣的文書能活到最後，來聽聽名校招生官對申請者寫文書時的一些建議。文末附上一篇約翰霍普金斯大學2021屆學生的精彩文書。
頂尖名校的招生官的肺腑之言
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U.S.News 採訪了一些全美排名前15的綜合性大學及文理學院的招生官們，請他們分享什麼樣的大學申請文書能脫穎而出。這些專家給出的建議可謂是多年經驗總結的肺腑之言。雖說不是長篇大論，但是每個字都不是白說的。
Abigail Conyers，招生顧問
威廉姆斯學院，全美文理學院第一
文書要把申請者所有的經歷串聯起來，建立明顯的聯絡，讓招生官明確你的意願。
去年，Conyers讀了一篇關於語言的優秀文書。申請者想在威廉姆斯學院學習語言和神經科學。他在文書中講到，他是如何透過與患有痴呆症的祖母分享故事，從而發展出對語言的熱愛。
為了瞭解祖母的病症，他加入了一間神經科學實驗室，他想要繼續學習大腦如何處理語言，並有可能深入理解痴呆症。
Conyers說，這位學生用生命裡所有的元素把這篇文書塞得滿滿的，但是他的確可以將所有經歷都聯絡到一起，並讓招生官明白他真正關心的是什麼。
Ellen Kim，本科招生系主任
約翰霍普金斯大學，全美第十
不要試圖去猜測招生官想看什麼。
Kim曾讀到過一篇引人注意的文書：作者每天早晨都把霍普金斯網站上的新聞一條不落地讀完，他解釋了這樣做的理由，以及每天讀晨報帶給他的收穫。
儘管閱讀晨報本身沒什麼值得注意，但招生官們覺得這位學生的人格魅力超過了他的成就。從這篇文書裡，招生官可以看到該學生在興奮的時候是如何反應的，他在社群裡扮演著怎樣的角色。
Sam Prouty，高階招生助理指導
明德學院，全美文理學院第四
誠實地對待自己和自己的經歷。
去年，Prouty讀到一篇文書，學生熱衷於收集pez糖，他甚至有自己專門的儲存間。每當這位學生向人們展示這種熱情時，別人都會對此表示奇怪，而作者恰恰用有趣的方式看待人們的不解。
不僅是這篇文書的內容，更是它的敘述方式引起了Prouty的注意。
“文書並不是用來證明你和別人一樣的。恰恰相反，我們想了解你的怪癖，你的個性，”他說，“如果你很有趣，你就應該展現出有趣的一面，如果你不會搞笑，你大可不必去嘗試，但如果你有講故事的慾望，那麼請把你的故事告訴我們。”
Jarrid Whitney，招生執行主任和金融援助
加州理工，全美排名十二
文書中的故事，需要與你未來的規劃緊密關聯。
加州理工的申請者需要展現他們對數學和科學的熱情，但並不一定需要透過有組織的校園活動來展現，可以是修車庫，或做計算機。
Whitney 讀了許多文書都是講自己還是孩童時就喜歡玩樂高（一種益智積木玩具），於是長大後渴望成為一名工程師，但這兩件事的關聯性不強。更好的關於樂高的文書，需要將樂高與你後來的真實經歷、職業規劃聯絡地更緊密。
J.T. Duck， 招生辦主任
斯爾斯莫學院，全美文理學院第四
To show not to tell，向我展現你自己，而不只是講述發生了什麼。
Duck最近看了一篇文書，作者自稱為“bro”，一個超級陽剛的傢伙。他寫自己每天去學校和朋友們一起打發時光，但放學後，他會登入多人線上影片遊戲網站，和朋友們說說走心的話題，比如一次被拒的約會。
“這個年輕人雖只是寫自己和朋友們一起玩影片遊戲，卻表達地繪聲繪色，讓我體會到了他如何與人交友，從而展現了他的人際能力，”Duck說。
Lee Coffin，招生執行主任和金融援助
達特茅斯學院，全美排名十一
不要過度思考。
有一篇文書吸引了Coffin的注意，申請者寫自己在一個劇場裡扮演一個幕後角色的故事，從而非常詳盡地表達了他將在未來校園裡扮演的角色，以及他為什麼想學習戲劇。
Coffin說，有時候，申請者們在尋找讓招生官“WOW”的元素。他們也許會創造一個完美但空洞的故事，一直到結束也沒寫出任何有看頭的東西，所以，想太多不如只寫自己真實的想法。
Parke Muth
弗吉尼亞大學的國際學生錄取主管
“大多數學生覺得個人申請論文要寫得像一部史詩般的電影，要概述人生所有的高潮，其中大部分高潮還是悲劇性的。這種想法的問題在於要用區區650字概述你的一生就像是用長鏡頭來拍電影一樣。我們錄取官員只能看到遠處地平線上幾個模模糊糊，很渺小的影子，離得太遠，看不清楚。
我總是跟學生說，寫大學個人申請不是拍電影而是拍廣告。我閱讀一篇個人申請所花的時間大概和看一個耐克公司的廣告一樣長。我很喜歡看耐克公司的廣告，究其原因不是因為他們花數年的時間來找到最好的素材，而是因為耐克廣告裡有大量的近鏡頭特寫和運動員流的汗。。。
我（作為錄取官員）能不能聽到，看見，觸控，品嚐甚至聞到你所代表的世界？ 不是整個的世界，而是其中的一個小角落。讓（論文中）一個時刻表達一個更高的意義。就像詩人所說的，“用一粒沙代表一個世界”。
Martha C.Merrill
康涅狄格學院錄取與獎學金辦公室副院長
“給我講一個好的故事，不要簡單地宣稱你是一個愛思考的人，告訴我你為什麼是一個這樣的人。要真誠，不要去猜想我想要看到什麼，試圖來打動我，你只要告訴我對你來說最重要的是什麼。”
2021屆學生優秀文書賞析（JHU）
▼
20 Questions
“Is it bigger than a breadbox?”
“Yes.”
I have always been tall, decidedly tall. Yet, my curiosity has always surpassed my height. Starting at a young age, I would ask countless questions, from “How heavy is the Earth?” to “Where does rain come from?” My curiosity, displayed in questions like these, has truly defined me as a person and as a student. Therefore, it is not surprising that I became transfixed the first time I played 20Q (the electronic version of Twenty Questions). Somehow, a little spherical device guessed what I was thinking. The piece of technology sparked my curiosity and instilled in me a unique interest in 20Q. This interest would later reveal valuable character traits of mine while also paralleling various facets of my life.
“Does it strive to learn?”
“Yes.”
I became determined to discover how 20Q guessed correctly. After some research, I discovered artificial intelligence, more specifically, artificial neural networks—systems which learn and improve themselves. This idea fascinated me. I wanted to learn more. I read avidly, seeking and absorbing as much information as I could. When given the opportunity years later, I signed up for the first computer programming class available to me. I found myself in an environment I loved. I would stay after class, go in during free periods, make my own apps, and work over Cloud-based IDEs. I prized the freedom and the possibilities.
“Is it driven?”
“Yes.”
After my introduction to 20Q, I began to play Twenty Questions (the traditional parlor game) and became determined to rival the guessing accuracy of the artificial intelligence. At first I was mediocre. However, through long car rides with family, good-natured yet heated competitions with friends, logical strategy, and time, I became more effective. I discovered the “secrets” to success: practice and perseverance.
“Does it apply what it learns?”
“Yes.”
As 20Q implements what it learns, so do I. Throughout high school, I applied the “secret” of practice to my basketball career. I spent countless hours sharpening my skills in 90° summer heat to 20° late-winter cold, countless afternoons playing pickup games with my friends, and countless weekends traveling to AAU basketball tournaments. As a result, I became a starter for my school’s varsity team. I applied another “secret,” this time the “secret” of perseverance, by dedicating myself to physical therapy after knee surgery in order to quickly return to football. Later that year, I became the first player in my grade to score a varsity touchdown.
“Does it attempt to better itself?”
“Yes.”
Once I became proficient at Twenty Questions, I strengthened my resolve to become masterful. To do so, I needed to become a skillful inquisitor and to combine that with my analytical nature and interpersonal skills, all of which are vital for success in Twenty Questions. Because I had been debating politics with my friends since the 8th grade, I recognized that debate could sharpen these skills. I began to debate more frequently (and later more effectively) in English and government class, at the lunch table and family gatherings, and whenever the opportunity presented itself. This spurred in me an interest for how public policy and government work, leading me to attend Boys State and receive a nomination for The United States Senate Youth Program.
“Does it think deeply?”
“Yes.”
So far, I have realized that thriving at Twenty Questions, just like life, is all about tenacity, rationality and interpersonal skills. I have found that, as in Twenty Questions, always succeeding is impossible; however, by persevering through difficulties and obstacles, favorable outcomes are often attainable. As I have become better at Twenty Questions, so too have I improved in many other aspects of my life. Nonetheless, I realize that I still have unbounded room to grow. And much like 20Q, I will continue to learn throughout my life and apply my knowledge to everything I do.
“Are you thinking of me?”
“Yes.”
招生委員會點評：文書形式新穎，成功地吸引了我們的注意力。內容詳實，具體例項展現了申請人廣泛的興趣愛好，從計算機到籃球再到政治辯論。透過文書，我們相信這是我們想要的有競爭力的學生。