我英文是個半吊子，在這裡多少給大家分享幾個。
1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老師：誰能回到我下一個問題，誰就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一個小男孩把書包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老師：誰剛剛把書包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我現在要回家了。
2、What dog can jump higher than a building?
什麼狗比大樓跳的還高?
Anydog, buildings can"t jump!
任何一隻狗，大樓又跳不起來。
3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?
什麼有頭、有尾，但是沒有身體?
A coin!
硬幣。
4、What has one eye but cannot see?
什麼有一隻眼睛，卻看不見?
A needle.
針。
5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"
妻子：你會怎麼形容我呢?
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: "What does that mean?"
妻子：那是什麼意思?
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可愛的、令人愉悅的、優雅的、時髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I"m just kidding!"
丈夫：開個玩笑!
6、Boy: Is this seat empty?
男孩：這個座位是空的麼？
Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
7、My little dog can"t read
我的狗不識字
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
8、My Wife Will Exchange Them
反正我太太明天會來換的
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
“沒什麼區別。”這位顧客回答。
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
“那您要什麼顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。
″Any″ he responded.
“什麼顏色都成。”他回答。
″Size﹖″
“號碼呢？”
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”
我英文是個半吊子，在這裡多少給大家分享幾個。
1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老師：誰能回到我下一個問題，誰就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一個小男孩把書包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老師：誰剛剛把書包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我現在要回家了。
2、What dog can jump higher than a building?
什麼狗比大樓跳的還高?
Anydog, buildings can"t jump!
任何一隻狗，大樓又跳不起來。
3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?
什麼有頭、有尾，但是沒有身體?
A coin!
硬幣。
4、What has one eye but cannot see?
什麼有一隻眼睛，卻看不見?
A needle.
針。
5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"
妻子：你會怎麼形容我呢?
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: "What does that mean?"
妻子：那是什麼意思?
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可愛的、令人愉悅的、優雅的、時髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I"m just kidding!"
丈夫：開個玩笑!
6、Boy: Is this seat empty?
男孩：這個座位是空的麼？
Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
7、My little dog can"t read
我的狗不識字
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！
Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
8、My Wife Will Exchange Them
反正我太太明天會來換的
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
“沒什麼區別。”這位顧客回答。
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
“那您要什麼顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。
″Any″ he responded.
“什麼顏色都成。”他回答。
″Size﹖″
“號碼呢？”
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”