Who do you want to be? It"s a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you"re answering it every day through your actions. This one question will define your professional success more than any other, because how you show up and treat people means everything.
Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded. And who you choose to be means everything. I study the effects of incivility on people. What is incivility? It"s disrespect or rudeness.
It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting to telling offensive jokes to texting in meetings. And what"s uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another. Take texting while someone"s speaking to you.
Some of us may find it rude, others may think it"s absolutely civil. So it really depends. It"s all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that person felt disrespected. We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has consequences.
Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room. It was heartbreaking to see my dad, this strong, athletic, energetic guy, lying in the bed with electrodes strapped to his bare chest. What put him there was work-related stress. For over a decade, he suffered an uncivil boss.
And for me, I thought he was just an outlier at that time. But just a couple years later, I witnessed and experienced a lot of incivility in my first job out of college. I spent a year going to work every day and hearing things from coworkers like, "Are you an idiot? That"s not how it"s done," and, "If I wanted your opinion, I"d ask."
So I did the natural thing. I quit, and I went back to grad school to study the effects of this. There, I met Christine Pearson. And she had a theory that small, uncivil actions can lead to much bigger problems like aggression and violence. We believed that incivility affected performance and the bottom line. So we launched a study, and what we found was eye-opening.
We sent a survey to business school alumni working in all different organizations. We asked them to write a few sentences about one experience where they were treated rudely, disrespectfully or insensitively, and to answer questions about how they reacted.
One person told us about a boss that made insulting statements like, "That"s kindergartner"s work," and another tore up someone"s work in front of the entire team. And what we found is that incivility made people less motivated: 66 percent cut back work efforts, 80 percent lost time worrying about what happened, and 12 percent left their job.
And after we published these results, two things happened. One, we got calls from organizations. Cisco read about these numbers, took just a few of these and estimated, conservatively, that incivility was costing them 12 million dollars a year.
演講題目：Where joy hides and how to find it
中英文字幕
Who do you want to be? It"s a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you"re answering it every day through your actions. This one question will define your professional success more than any other, because how you show up and treat people means everything.
你想成為誰？這是一個簡單的問題，不管你知不知道答案，你每天都在用你的行動回答它。這一個問題會比其他的問題更好地定義你事業的成功，因為你的表現和對待他人的方式代表了一切。
Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded. And who you choose to be means everything. I study the effects of incivility on people. What is incivility? It"s disrespect or rudeness.
不論你是舉高他人透過尊重他們使他們感到重視，欣賞和傾聽，還是壓制他人透過使他們感到渺小，侮辱、忽視或排斥。你選擇成為誰代表著一切。我研究了在人類身上不文明行為的影響。什麼是不文明？是不尊重或者粗魯無禮。
It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting to telling offensive jokes to texting in meetings. And what"s uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another. Take texting while someone"s speaking to you.
它包含了許多不同的行為，從嘲笑或者輕蔑某人，到以刺痛的方式戲弄他人，到開冒犯人的玩笑，到在會議上發簡訊。一個人覺得失禮的行為，另一個來說是完全可以接受的。當別人在跟你說話的時候發簡訊。
Some of us may find it rude, others may think it"s absolutely civil. So it really depends. It"s all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that person felt disrespected. We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has consequences.
我們當中的一些人可能覺得這很無禮，另一些人可能覺得這完全可以接受。所以這真的得看情況。這完全取決於旁觀者的看法和那個人是否感到不尊重。我們可能並沒有讓某人那麼想的打算，但是當我們做了後，它有了代價。
Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room. It was heartbreaking to see my dad, this strong, athletic, energetic guy, lying in the bed with electrodes strapped to his bare chest. What put him there was work-related stress. For over a decade, he suffered an uncivil boss.
22多年前，我清楚地記得走進這個古板的醫院病房我心碎的看著我爸爸這個堅強，體格健壯，精力充沛的男人，躺在床上電極綁在他裸露的胸膛上。使他躺在那裡的是和工作相關的壓力。十多年來，他有一個不文明的老闆。
And for me, I thought he was just an outlier at that time. But just a couple years later, I witnessed and experienced a lot of incivility in my first job out of college. I spent a year going to work every day and hearing things from coworkers like, "Are you an idiot? That"s not how it"s done," and, "If I wanted your opinion, I"d ask."
我曾以為他只是一個特例。但是僅僅幾年後，在我畢業後的第一個工作內我眼見和親身遭遇了許多不文明行為。我花了一年的時間每天去工作和聽取同事的意見，就像"你是白痴嗎？這不是這麼做的"和“我如果需要你的意見，我會問。”
So I did the natural thing. I quit, and I went back to grad school to study the effects of this. There, I met Christine Pearson. And she had a theory that small, uncivil actions can lead to much bigger problems like aggression and violence. We believed that incivility affected performance and the bottom line. So we launched a study, and what we found was eye-opening.
所以我做了再自然不過的事情。辭職，然後回到大學研究這個對人產生的效應在那裡，我認識了克里斯廷·皮爾森，她有一個理論那些小小的，不文明的行為，可導致更大的問題，比如侵略和暴力。我們相信不禮貌行為會影響一個人的表現和結果。所以我們開展了一個研究，所發現的讓我們大開眼界。
We sent a survey to business school alumni working in all different organizations. We asked them to write a few sentences about one experience where they were treated rudely, disrespectfully or insensitively, and to answer questions about how they reacted.
我們寄了一個調查表給在不同機構工作的商學院的學生，我們要求他們寫一小段關於他們被粗魯對待，不被尊重或是被無視的一段經歷，然後回答他們當時是什麼反應？
One person told us about a boss that made insulting statements like, "That"s kindergartner"s work," and another tore up someone"s work in front of the entire team. And what we found is that incivility made people less motivated: 66 percent cut back work efforts, 80 percent lost time worrying about what happened, and 12 percent left their job.
有人告訴我們有一個老闆一直說侮辱性的話：“那是幼兒園小孩的工作。”另一個在全隊面前把某人的工作撕毀。我們發現了那些不文明行為會消減人們的動力，66%的人們工作動力減少，80%的人們浪費時間擔心發生的事情，和12%直接辭職。
And after we published these results, two things happened. One, we got calls from organizations. Cisco read about these numbers, took just a few of these and estimated, conservatively, that incivility was costing them 12 million dollars a year.
當我們公佈了這些結果後，發生了兩件事情。一，我們接到了企業的電話思科系統閱讀了這些資料，使用了其中的一些，作了保守的估計，發現他們曾因為不文明的行為一年損失了了1200萬美元。