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1 # 麗絲英語
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2 # 開心就好3M
Beans, beans, good for the heart. The more you eat, the more you fart.
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3 # 時光影像客棧
其實我聽到的最好笑的英文，但是不知道算不算笑話吧，就是
1:GOOD GOOD STADY DAY DAY UP
2:you can you up no shang no bi bi
哈哈
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4 # 凍狗搞笑影片
1.(My classmates came to my home for the first time to have dinner. The atmosphere at the table was relaxed. I pampered and said, "Dad, I"m not full!" My classmates naturally took my empty bowl, filled it with rice and handed it over, and then I will never forget it in my life... My father"s hand in the air and my mother"s solemn expression!)
同學第一次來我家吃飯，飯桌氣氛很輕鬆，我撒嬌道：爸爸，我沒吃飽！同學很自然的拿過我的空碗，盛上米飯又遞過來，然後我一輩子也忘不了……我爸停在空中的手和我媽凝重的表情！
2.（People in our neighborhood are saying bad things about Lao Gao. It"s a real wrongdoing to him. In fact, Lao Gao is a good man. He is also my son"s lifesaver. Last month, my son had an accident and needed blood transfusion. My blood type didn"t match my son"s. At the moment of crisis, thanks to Gao"s stepping up and donating more than 1,000 milliliters of blood, my son"s life was saved.）
同學第一次來我家吃飯，飯桌氣氛很輕鬆，我撒嬌道：爸爸，我沒吃飽！同學很自然的拿過我的空碗，盛上米飯又遞過來，然後我一輩子也忘不了……我爸停在空中的手和我媽凝重的表情！
3.（The wife called and said, "Husband, I"m sorry." "..." "In fact, all along, in love with you, I also love another man, he accompanied me more time than you, I go shopping with him, he can satisfy my desire every time, but this time no good." "Look at what, how much difference do you say, don"t talk about your father."）
老婆來電，說：“老公，對不起。”“。。。”“其實一直以來，在愛你的同時，我還深愛另一個男人，他陪我的時間比你還多，我逛街都帶著他，他每次都能滿足我的慾望，但是這次不行了。”“看上什麼了，差多少你直說，別拿你爸說事兒。”
4.（Early this morning, my father suddenly gave me an intellectual question: "You have ten lanes in front of you, nine of which are equipped with killing organs, how do you want to survive?" I shook my head. Father calmly said, "It"s easy to find the right lane."）
今天一大早父親突然給我出了個智力題：“你面前有十條巷子，其中九條都佈置了殺人的機關，你要怎麼做才能活下去？”我搖搖頭。父親平靜地說：“很簡單，找對巷。”
5.（In the evening, when I got home, my father called me to watch TV with him. As a result, he opened the gourd doll and looked at it. I said it was boring to watch it now. I went to sleep. He glared at me and said, Sit and watch! When I saw seven gourds, I called Grandpa and Grandpa at the same time. Grandpa. At that time, my dad was always responding to that. This forced marriage has entered another realm!）
晚上，回到家，老爸喊我過去陪他看電視。結果他打開了葫蘆娃看，我說現在看沒意思了，睡去了。他瞪了我一眼，說，坐著看！當看到七個葫蘆同時喊爺爺爺爺。。爺爺。。的時候，我爸一直在那哎哎哎的應著。。這逼婚都進入了另一個境界了！
6.（Last year, I just changed my job and had an early meeting on my first day at the company. The manager said, "The company"s air conditioner is broken. It"s hot recently. You can wear less clothes and wear less clothes... Especially female comrades, don"t get heatstroke. Suddenly I felt that the company was not in vain.）
去年剛跳槽，去公司上班的第一天，開早會。經理說：“公司空調壞了，最近天熱，你們能少穿就少穿點……特別是女同志，千萬別中暑了。”我突然感覺這個公司，我沒白來。
7.（The owner just changed his mobile phone number, wanted to amuse his wife, sent her a message: fate is doomed, want to know you and his fate? Please send your real name and his real name, such as Xiao Ming and Xiao Hong. The consultation fee is one yuan. A minute later, the boss received the names of his wife and his brother...）
老闆剛換的手機號，想逗一逗妻子，給她發了條資訊：緣分天註定，想知道你和他的緣分麼？請傳送你和他的真實姓名，如：小明，小紅。諮詢費一元一條。過了一分鐘，老闆收到了他妻子和他兄弟的名字……
8.（How hard can a person"s mouth be? Clearly no money, but also rush to pay; Clearly no hair, also said that it was evolution; Clearly dark eyes, a few circles also said that Xiu Xian; Clearly no object also said that they just do not want to find... To be clear, who did I provoke?）
人可以嘴硬到什麼程度？明明沒錢了還搶著買單；明明沒頭髮了還說那是進化；明明眼都黑幾圈了還說在修仙；明明沒物件還說自己只是不想找。。。明明說，我招誰惹誰了？
不容易啊，給個贊吧！
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5 # 泉清上石流
說實話，雖然英語過了六級，但讓我去聽一個英語笑話，我在聽的時候根本就笑不起來，只有我把它在大腦裡譯成了漢語，重溫一下才可能感到好笑的。因此，我要分享給大家的英文笑話一定要譯成漢語才能找到笑點。
No1:
The mean man"s party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5th floor, find the door in the middle and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is open, push it with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼請客
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說:“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。
No2.
These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet,a woman felt really good about
herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago.
“Look,look.” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband.“I can wear my old jeans again.”
Her husband looked at her for a long time,when said,“Honey, I love you,but these are my jeans.”
那是我的褲子!
一個婦女在減肥一段時間後自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓衝她丈夫喊道:“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然後說:“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”
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6 # 新概念英語瘋狂教練
好多好多年前聽過一個英語笑話，現在還能記得：
Mr. Tom couldn"t speak fluently. He stammered a lot when speaking. One day he went into a shop and wanted to buy a bird. "D-d-do you have any b-b-bird?" He asked. The shopkeeper showed him a parrot and said, "This bird is clever. He knows everything." So Mr. Tom bought it. A few days later, Mr. Tom came back to the shop with the bird. " This b-b-bird can"t t-t-talk. He can only st-t-tammer!"
湯姆先生說話不利索。他一說話就口吃得厲害。一天他走進了一家店子，想買一隻鳥。“有……有……有什麼鳥……鳥……鳥賣嗎?”他問道。老闆拿給他一隻鸚鵡，說：“這隻鳥挺機靈，它什麼都懂。”湯姆先生就埋買下了這隻鳥。沒過幾天湯姆先生就把這鳥送回了這家店子。“這……這……這鳥啥都不……不……不會說。它只會結……結……結巴！”
回覆列表
I heard some funny clean English jokes of kids and family. Now I share one of them with you guys.
我聽過一些很好笑的有關孩子和家庭的非色情的笑話。現在和你們分享其中之一。
JOKE(笑話)
A kindergarden teacher was walking around her classroom as her students were drawing pictures. She noticed one little girl drew so intently. She asked what she was drawing?
The little girl said she was drawing a picture of the god. The teacher laughed and said:"Honey, nobody really knows what the god looks like."
The little girl said without missing a bit:"They will in a minute."
一個幼兒園老師在教室裡走來走去，學生們在畫畫。她注意到一個女孩非常專心致志地畫著，她問女孩在畫什麼?女孩說在畫上帝的一幅肖像畫。這位老師笑了並說:"甜心，沒有人真正知道上帝長什麼樣。" 女孩沒有絲毫停頓地回道:"他們一分鐘後就會知道了"。