Emotional vulnerability is most often felt as anxiety about being rejected, shamed, or judged as inadequate. It has been defined by Brene Brown as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure” (2012).
情感脆弱的通常外在感受是，擔憂自己因不夠好而被拒絕、被羞辱或被批判。Brene Brown 將其定義為：“不確定性、風險和情感曝露”。
Think about that for a moment. Uncertainty is a given in every day of our lives. It is deeply tied to anxiety. In fact, very often those who suffer from chronic anxiety have particular difficulty accepting the uncertainty in their daily lives. Risk: For example, the risk of feeling rejected if the object of your love does not love you back. Or, that your boss will not only deny the raise but will also tell you why you are not worthy of it. Emotional exposure: You’ve decided to partner with someone, and you begin to feel the fear that this person will get to know you better than you know yourself.
我們來分析一下這一定義。
不確定性：在生活中不可避免。它與焦慮密切相關。實際上，遭受長期焦慮之人，常常尤為難以接受日常生活中的不確定性。
風險：例如，如果你愛的人並不愛你，或者如果你的老闆不僅拒絕給你漲薪，同時還告訴你你為什麼不值得漲薪，那麼你就可能會遭受一種被拒絕感。
情感曝露：你已經決定和某人確立關係，你開始感到恐懼，因為你擔心這個人會比你對你自己的瞭解更深入。
These situations are more frightening to some of us than to others, depending upon our personal histories, our cultural backgrounds, and our basic personality traits. The feeling of shame is a particular risk for many individuals, especially if they were raised in a shame-based culture. However, nearly everyone struggles with emotional vulnerability to some degree every day. (The exceptions are those with no desire to feel connected, such as extreme narcissists and sociopaths.)
這些情形對某些人而言，比對其他一些人而言更可怖。這取決於我們每個人的過往、文化背景，以及我們的基本性格特徵。
恥辱感，是很多個體都面臨著的一種特定風險，尤其對於在羞辱型文化中長大的人而言。
但幾乎每個人每天都在某種程度上與情感脆弱性搏鬥著。（但不想和他人有聯絡之人，比如極端自戀者和反社會者等，並不在此列）
How can vulnerability be a strength?如何將脆弱變為一種力量？
"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity” —Brene Brown, 2012“脆弱，是愛、歸屬、喜悅、勇氣、共情心和創造力的誕生地”
It is only through allowing ourselves to be vulnerable that we can understand, feel empathy, forgive each other, and know that we are worthy of love and belonging. Emotional courage is sharing our feelings with those who are important to us and accepting their feelings as valid and important. Being vulnerable allows us to create new ideas and to see fresh possibilities that were previously blocked from our minds. We take the risk that our creations will be judged poorly or rejected and that we may feel shame or inadequacy as a result. However, we risk failure in order to have the chance of success.
只有允許我們脆弱，我們才能夠理解、產生共情心、彼此原諒，才能知道我們值得愛，值得歸屬。
情感上的勇氣，是指與對我們重要之人分享我們的感受，認可並重視對方感受。
脆弱，讓我們能夠開拓思維，看到之前被我們大腦遮蔽的新的可能性。但我們會冒著這些風險：我們的創造成果可能會被貶低或被拒絕、我們可能會感到恥辱或自己不夠好。
但我們冒著失敗的風險，目的是為了有成功的可能。
How does vulnerability improve our close relationships?脆弱，如何提升我們的親密關係
Generally speaking, emotional vulnerability is different for men than it is for women. More accurately, it differs for those who identify as male or female, largely due to social and cultural expectations of these genders. (Hopefully, this dichotomy will be less relevant in the future as gender identity and gender roles become more flexible.) As Brene Brown pointed out in her 2012 TED Talk, “Listening to Shame,” men and women experience shame differently. Women generally feel that they must “Do it all; do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat!” Men tend to feel that they must follow the rule: “Do not be perceived as weak.”
整體而言，情感脆弱是有性別差異的。更確切地說，在心理認同性別之間是存在差異的，這很大一部分是因為對兩性的社會和文化期望不同。（希望在未來，隨著性別身份與性別角色越來越不那麼死板狹隘，這種兩性差異會變得逐漸弱化。）正如 Brene Brown在2012年 TED TALK《聆聽恥辱感》中所指出的，男性和女性的恥辱感體驗是不同的。
女性通常感到她們必須“全部都要做、要做得完美，永遠不要讓別人看到你做得辛苦。”
而男性則常常感到他們必須要遵守一條法則：“不要被別人看起來很弱。”
As Dr. Brown noted, it is not the other men (teammates, coaches, etc.) in men's’ lives who reinforce this message as much as it is the women in their lives. What does this tell us about how male-female couples might improve their relationships? It requires a good amount of empathy to understand each other’s sources of shame and to overcome our fear of being emotionally vulnerable. She does not need him to solve her problems, but only for him to hear them and show caring. She wants to know that what she does, and who she is, “is enough” and worthy of being loved. He is not likely to talk about his feelings nor empathize with hers if he is not allowed to show his weakness. He wants to know that he is loved for who he is and that it is okay to feel afraid or uncertain.
正如 Brown博士所說，與其說是男性生活中的其他男性（團隊其他成員、教練等）強化了這一資訊，不如說是他們生活中的女性。那麼，從這一點而言，對於男女感情關係的提升，有何啟發呢？
女方不需要男方去解決她的問題，但只需要男方去聆聽，並表現出關心。女方想要知道她的所作所為，以及她本身，足以讓她，且值得讓她被愛。
如果男性不被允許展露自己的脆弱，那麼他也就不可能去與女方談論他的感受，也不會對女方感受共情。他想要知道對方愛他這個人，想要知道他可以感到害怕或不確定。
I’ll end with a personal story which I hope to be helpful to my female readers and the men whom they love. My dear father was diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease similar to Lou Gehrig’s when he was 60 years old. He was told that he would gradually lose all muscular control, and so in effect become paralyzed over the next 6 to 8 years.
最後，我想用一個我自己的故事結束這篇文章，我希望這能夠幫助到女性讀者以及她們所愛的男性。我的父親在60歲時被診斷患有類似於盧伽雷氏病的一種神經肌肉病症。他被告知他會逐漸失去所有的肌肉控制，在接下來6-8年中會逐漸變得癱瘓。
I recall the fear in his expression when he told our family of the diagnosis, knowing that the illness would impact his ability to do even the simplest self-care routines. He was facing the loss of his health, his independence, and his role as the family provider. He had the courage to tell us that he was afraid of what was to come. I was afraid also. Actually, I was terrified. I wish I had found the courage to share my fear with him in that moment. It might have made my reassurances more meaningful to him.
我記得當他告訴我們家人這一診斷結果時他表情中的恐懼，因為他知道這個病會影響他的一些甚至最基本的自理能力。他當時面對著自己健康、獨立性以及家庭支柱角色的喪失。他當時卻有勇氣告訴我們他對未來感到害怕。我也感到害怕，實際上，我被嚇壞了。我希望我當時也能夠鼓起勇氣，告訴他我也感到害怕，這可能本該會讓我的安慰對他而言更有意義。
Embrace your own vulnerability and that of the people that you love. Be open to sharing what you feel and taking those risks when your sense of judgment tells you that the risk is well worth it. To quote Brene Brown once more, “Dare Greatly.”
擁抱你自己的脆弱，擁抱你所愛之人的脆弱。當你的判斷力告訴你，值得冒一下風險時，去敞開心扉分享自己的感受，去選擇冒這些風險。
再一次引用 Brene Brown的話：Dare Greatly！（無所畏懼）