He was my best friend. Ryan. Standing at attention on the left. My other good friend, also named Ryan, is in the middle. And the big dumb blonde on the right is me.

他是我最好的朋友。瑞恩，站在左邊立正的那個（觀眾的右手邊）。我的另一個好朋友，也叫瑞恩，在中間。右邊那個愚蠢的金髮大男孩是我。

Every summer my family moved for my dad’s military career. I would spend those summers at my grandparents, in Florida, to be out of the way while the chaos of moving unfolded.

每年夏天，我們全家都會因為我父親的軍旅生涯而搬家。我會在佛羅里達的祖父母家度過那些夏天，當搬家的混亂展開時，我就會避開。

Summers at my grandparents rocked. They were heaven on Earth for a young boy.

祖父母家的夏天過得很糟糕。但對一個小男孩來說，那就是人間天堂。

Ryan lived just down the street. A few blocks away. He was also a clown, big on humor. And could make me laugh anytime. We explored together. We got in trouble together. We were video game fanatics. Ryan and I played video games constantly. I had Nintendo. He had a Genesis. We planned it that way. When we weren’t exploring, swimming, riding bikes, we were sitting by each other in front of the TV with our controllers.

瑞恩就住在街那頭。幾個街區之外。他也是一個小丑，非常幽默。可以讓我隨時開懷大笑。我們一起探索。我們一起惹麻煩。我們是電子遊戲的狂熱愛好者。瑞恩和我經常玩電子遊戲。我有任天堂。他有創世紀。我們是這麼計劃的。當我們不去探險、游泳、騎腳踏車的時候，我們就會肩並肩地拿著控制器坐在電視機前。

Each summer, as soon as I came into town, I’d pick up the phone and call him. And daily hangouts would begin almost immediately.

每年夏天，我一到鎮上，就拿起電話打給他。每天的聚會幾乎會立即開始。

In the face of constant moves and goodbyes to friends, my summer rendezvous with Ryan was my stability of friendship. I cited him the ultra important, honorary title of “My Best Friend” when anyone asked.

面對頻繁的搬家和與朋友們的道別，我和瑞恩的夏季約會就是我友情中穩定的部分。當有人問我時，我就會提起他這個極其重要的榮譽稱號——“我最好的朋友”。

We sat in his living room on the floor in front of the TV on Saturday night sleepovers playing the original Mario, Sonic, Street Fighter, all manner of games. We played in the pool in his back yard. I helped him do “poop patrol” (one of his chores, cleaning up the dog poop on the back porch before we could play in the pool. We’d make poop jokes the whole time. We were alllll boy.)

週六晚上，我們坐在他家客廳的地板上看電視，玩原版的《馬里奧》、《索尼克》、《街頭霸王》等各種遊戲。我們在他家後院的游泳池裡玩。我幫他做“狗屎巡邏”(他的家務事之一，在我們可以去游泳池玩之前，先把後院走廊上的狗屎清理乾淨。我們一直都在講無聊的笑話。我們都是男孩。)

This went on from about age 5 to age 11. My summers with him were the highlight of my year.

這種情況從5歲一直持續到11歲。和他在一起的夏天是我一年中最快樂的時光。

One year, just before I flew to Florida for summer break, I got a call from Ryan, I only remember one line from the conversation, “We are moving away. My parents are getting divorced.” He said we’d still be able to hang out. Yada yada yada. I believed him. I thought not much would change.

有一年，就在我飛往佛羅里達度暑假之前，我接到瑞恩的電話，我只記得對話中有一句話，“我們要搬走了。”我的父母正在辦理離婚。”他說我們還能一起出去玩。……我相信了他。我以為一切都不會改變。

But it was a fateful call.

但這是一個命運攸關的決定。

He would now live 45 minutes away. There was no jumping on a bike to hang out. No roaming the neighborhood on a whim. It all became much more complicated. The golden days were gone. Our friendship quickly drifted apart.

他現在住在45分鐘車程之外。我們沒有再騎腳踏車出去玩了。不再心血來潮地在附近閒逛。一切都變得更加複雜。黃金時代已經過去了。我們很快就疏遠了。

Here I am 25 years later. I am a happy, professionally employed, healthy adult man. But I am also a divorced man. Who has gone through his own series of trials and tribulations with love.

現在已經過去了25年。我是一個快樂的，有職業的，健康的成年男人。但我也是一個離過婚的男人，一個帶著愛經歷了自己的一系列考驗和磨難的人。

Now, when I look back, I can see it all:

現在，當我回首往事，我能看到這一切:

Within my flipbook of memories at Ryan’s house, sitting in front of that TV., sleeping over, playing in his pool: All the signs were there.

記憶像翻頁一樣閃出我在瑞恩家的情景，我們坐在電視機前，我在他家過夜，在他的泳池裡玩耍：所有的回憶都還在那裡。

His mom and dad never in the same room. Never, not once, seeing them showing each other affection. His dad’s grim, solitary demeanor as he smoked a pipe on the couch behind us, seeming to be angry about something. Going on walks with his mom, his dad, but never with both. The phone call where Ryan said he’d heard his parents fighting. In our own youthful innocence, we’d been playing amidst a crumbling marriage.

他爸媽從來不待在同一個房間裡。我從來沒有，一次也沒有看到他們彼此親熱過。他父親在我們身後的沙發上抽菸鬥時的神情冷酷、孤獨，似乎在對什麼事生氣。我們會和他爸爸或他媽媽一起散步，但從來沒有同時和他們一起過。瑞恩在電話裡說他聽到父母吵架了。在我們年少無知的時候，我們在他們搖搖欲墜的婚姻中玩耍。

All the bells and whistles were there, signs their family would soon split, and soon thereafter would begin the slow, peaceful, drifting death of our friendship.

所有的徵兆都擺在那裡，預示著他的家庭很快就要破裂了，而且不久之後，我們的友誼也會慢慢地、平靜地、飄忽不定地走向死亡。