我們應該避免依賴於他人去填補我們內心的真空，讓我們偏離現實。歸根結底，獲得支援關愛型感情關係的最佳方式之一，首先是愛你自己。

The star-crossed lovers from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet are frequently seen as examples of the height of passion and romance. However, people tend to forget the tragedy at the heart of the story: Each believed that they couldn’t go on living without the other.

莎士比亞戲劇《羅密歐與朱麗葉》中這對苦命鴛鴦常常被視為無上激情與浪漫的代表。但人們通常會忘記這位於這一故事核心的悲劇：彼此都認為他們沒有對方就無法活下去。

As with Romeo and Juliet, there are many maladaptive forms of attachment and attraction, but one that often gets overlooked is "love addiction." While there isn't a defined disorder by this term, relationships can have an obsessive nature that has little to do with sexual relations.

如羅密歐和朱麗葉一般，還有很多適應不良的依戀和吸引形式，但有一種通常被忽視的形式是“愛情癮症”。儘管並沒有這麼一個障礙定義，感情卻的確會存在一種偏執的“癮症”本質，而且這種癮症與性關係幾乎無關。

Love that includes craving romantic exhilaration such that the partner believes “romantic relations are magically potent; that they are relationships that can surmount all emotional obstacles.” These cravings may lead to obsessive thinking, negative consequences, and dysfunction.

有的愛情中，包含著對轟轟烈烈浪漫的渴望，以至於認為“愛情是有著強大魔力的；這種感情關係能夠逾越所有的情感障礙。”這些渴望可能就會導致偏執思維（鑽牛角尖）、負面後果，和機能失常（無法正常生活）。

A preoccupation with focusing on “finding the one” helps the individual untether from unpleasant areas of their life. Gradually, the brain begins to produce more mood enhancing neurochemicals in response to their contrived fantasies, and the individual becomes dependent on them as a coping mechanism. Love "addicts" can be fixated on one person or the idea of falling in love with “the one.”

對“尋找真愛”的執迷，會幫助一個人從他生活中不愉悅的領域中脫離出來。慢慢地，對於他們所構想出的種種幻想，大腦會開始分泌更多可以振奮情緒的神經化學物質，這個人開始對此產生依賴，將其作為一種應對機制。

“愛情癮君子”可能會痴迷於一個人，也或者是“與‘真愛’墜入愛河”的念頭。

When it comes to the mundane elements of healthy relationships, they may exhibit catastrophic thinking and struggle to balance doing things to satisfy their partner and their own self-interests. Consequently, "love addicts" can be susceptible to co-occurring substance use disorders or abuse since they are preoccupied with maintaining the euphoria of the relationship.

當面對健康感情關係中的一些平淡乏味的日常事物時，他們可能會表現出“災難思維”（會沉溺於一些不合理的、最壞的假設），並且難以在配偶和自己利益之間做到平衡。因此，“愛情癮君子”們同時可能也容易發展出物質濫用障礙或採用虐待行為，因為他們唯一想要的，是維持感情中的那種轟轟烈烈的愉悅。

"Love addictions" have a variety of etiologies, sometimes stemming from traumatic experiences, genetic predispositions to forming addictions, and other psychological disorders or a combination of these and other environmental influences.

愛情癮症，有多種原因，有時是源於創傷經歷、有時是癮症基因傾向，也或者是其他心理障礙，或上述因素及其他環境因素的共同作用。

Bartholomew and Horowitz’s 1991 classifications of attachment styles, which focuses on the “Self vs. Other” dynamic, offers insight into how they relate to "love addiction." When a person develops a positive concept of themselves but a negative concept of the other, they adopt a dismissive attachment style. Alternatively, when a person has a negative concept of themselves and a positive concept of the other, they form a preoccupied attachment style characterized by exaggerated emphasis on interpersonal relationships. Finally, the fearful attachment style comes about when the person has a negative concept of both themselves and the other, which results in social avoidance.

Bartholomew 和 Horowitz 1991年對依戀型別做出了分類，這一分類聚焦於“自我 vs. 對方”之間的動態關係。透過這些分類，我們可以深入理解依戀關係與“愛情癮症”之間的關聯。

當一個人對自己有正面認知，但對對方有負面認知時，他們會形成一種不屑型依戀型別；

當一個人對自己有負面認知，但對對方有正面認知時，他們會形成一種痴迷型依戀型別，這種依戀型別以對人際關係的過度重視為特徵。

而恐懼型依戀關係，則是一個人對自己和對方都有負面認知，這時候就會導致社交回避。

The same study found that people with fearful attachment styles tended to have intimacy problems and lacked assertiveness in interpersonal relationships, which prevented them from challenging their world model. People with a dismissive attachment style were reported to be colder and less expressive despite having high self-confidence, while those with pre-occupied attachments tended to be more expressive, more involved in romantic relationships, and more reliant on others "as a secure base.”

這一研究中，還發現，恐懼型依戀型別的人通常在親密關係方面存在障礙，而且在人際關係中缺乏自我堅定性，這就會阻礙他們去挑戰他們自己的世界模型。

而不屑型依戀型別則更冷漠，更不愛表達，儘管他們有著更高的自信。

痴迷型依戀型別之人則更愛表達，在感情中更投入，而且會更傾向於依賴對方，將對方作為“安全基礎”。

The undertones of each of attachment style play a role in the different flavors of "love addiction." This is not to say that these predisposing factors condemn someone to becoming obsessed with love. Awareness of their issues, an increased sense of self-worth, and treatment from a mental health professional can serve as protective factors.

每種依戀型別的底層原因在不同的“愛情癮症”症狀中都發揮著一定作用。這並是說這些決定性因素就意味著某個人註定會對愛情上癮。意識到問題所在，提升自我價值感，專業心理醫生的治療，都可以提供幫助。

Treatment|治療

The goal of treatment for "love addiction" is to change historical patterns of behavior to healthier, emotionally beneficial connections and become “sober” from past problematic behaviors.

“愛情癮症”的治療目標，是將歷史行為模式轉變為更健康、對心理更有益的關係，從過去的問題行為中“清醒”過來。

We address the problems that result from "love addiction" with some of the same modalities that have proven effective for substance use disorders and behavioral disorders such as gambling disorder and compulsive shopping:

我們應對因“愛情癮症”而產生的問題時，會採用對物質濫用障礙和一些行為障礙（如賭博障礙或強迫購物障礙）實證有效的一些方法。

* Cognitive behavioral therapy helps identify the initial thoughts toward love, relationships, intimacy, vulnerability and boundaries that create the feelings which ultimately drive behaviors often associated with compulsions, obsessions, and attachments.

認知行為療法可以幫助找出對愛情、感情關係、親密、脆弱點、和界限的最初始想法，正是這些初始想法，導致了種種感受，而這些感受最終催生了與強迫、偏執和依戀相關的種種行為。

* Group therapy provides a safe space to reduce shame, promote healthy encouragement, and break through the denial and rationalization that often enables patterns of unhealthy, problematic behavior.

小組療法。這種方式提供了一個安全的空間，可以減少羞恥感、倡導健康鼓勵、打破通常會導致不健康問題行為模式的“否認”和“合理化”防禦行為。

* 12-step groups, such as Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), provide a community of support for individuals who are making the decision to stop living a life controlled by a pattern of maladaptive sex and love behavior.

12步小組，如性與愛癮症匿名互助小組，為想要擺脫適應不良性愛與愛情行為的人提供社群支援。

* Even alternative therapies such as equine therapy can help treat "love addiction" by enhancing positive behaviors and emotional growth.

其他一些療法，如馬匹協助療法，也可以透過強化正面行為和精神成長的方式治療“愛情癮症”。

The treating clinician will conduct a complete sex and love history to help identify problematic patterns of behavior but also formulate goals for romantic sobriety.

治療醫師會全面審視性愛與愛情歷史，幫助找出問題行為模式，同時制定治療“戒癮”目標。

The individual with a "love addiction" will initially need to separate themselves from their negative behavior (e.g., removing dating profiles, ending dysfunctional relationships) and then work with their therapist to uncover and challenge irrational thoughts that precipitated past problematic behaviors. Formal, effective therapy takes time, but it can be helpful.

With so much isolation, separation, and fear occupying 2020, many people are feeling desperate for meaningful interaction. Yet we should avoid becoming reliant on others to fill voids in our lives and distract us from reality. If anything, this is the perfect time to rediscover ourselves, practice self-care, and examine how we derive our self-worth. Ultimately, one of the best ways to open yourself to supportive, loving relationships is to first love yourself.