“愛只是生活的一部分。”
“不，你可以，但最好有你。”
小時候，我問他愛不愛我，有多愛我，得到了這樣的回答。
就在那一刻，我崩潰了。
然後他說再見。
不僅因為他的回答，還因為他的行為在生活中很常見。
他真的只是把愛當作生活的一小部分。
考試前我得自己複習。我不想被任何人打擾。
在準備面試時，我會集中精力修改簡歷、模擬面試和尋找校友關係。
玩遊戲是願意和熟悉的朋友一起玩，是為了贏，不會故意輸給我。
假期回家時我會陪家人和朋友。我不會一直和我在別的城市聊天。
在一起之後，我們在一起的時間越來越少。
有時我覺得我從未認識我認識的人。
我不知道他的過去。我不知道他經歷了什麼，經歷了什麼樣的故事，看到了什麼樣的風景。
有時我會想，他是不是因為我早就知道我只是一個陪伴他很久的人而如此冷漠？
你越想越害怕。
於是就有了問題和答案。
但怎麼會是這樣呢？
什麼是真愛？你不需要一直互相幫助嗎？
沒有你沒關係，但有你更好。不是說每個人都可以離開誰？
分手後，是最難過的時候。
不想出門，拉上窗簾，整天把自己關在黑暗的房間裡。
我開始懷疑我是否值得被愛？
如果是這樣的話，為什麼人們認為沒有我沒關係？
是他太壞了，還是生活啊愛情啊應該如此？
在那些日子裡，我想了很多。
親密關係是大多數人一生都在探索和學習的東西，很難真正學會。
因為人的創造才能是有限的，每一種創造都未必帶來好的結果。
尤其是在處理人際關係方面。
我們處理彼此關係的方法和理論大多來自於我們所看到和經歷的經驗。
每次遇到一個新的人，你都會不自覺地用與其他朋友相處的積極體驗方法來套用這個人。
比如聊天內容，比如適當的照顧，比如生日禮物，都是從經驗中衍生出來並逐漸探索出來的，最終形成與新人相處的專屬模式。
而戀人之間的親密關係使得大腦系統不足。
因為那個人和朋友不同，需要更親近。
因此，我們更願意以父母的形式和關係來處理與伴侶的親密關係。
由於從小與父母相處不融洽，我對這種親密關係缺乏瞭解，缺乏安全感。
當我還是個孩子的時候，我害怕失去和周圍沒有人。你和伴侶相處的時間越多，你就越容易暴露。
因為我沒有把握其他事情的信心，只有這個人。
當情緒平衡開始傾斜的那一刻，它只會變得越來越不平衡，最終一方會跌到最後。
後來，我獨自呆了很長時間。
也花了很長時間思考你想做什麼，想成為什麼樣的人。
玩遊戲，但不是為了陪誰，不是為了取悅誰，只是在問題面前享受，和朋友在遊戲中殺了四個，也被別人殺了，還肆意大笑。
準備面試，但不要在別人面前顯得多麼兇猛，只是為了一步步接近最終目標，所以要堅持為自己鋪路。
或者只是一個人出去散步，看到小學生放學後買了個雞腿吃，憨厚地笑了，看到兩對情侶在街上的小店忙著清理自己的小店，還笑著向老顧客問好，看到情侶在路上吵架，小男孩陪著笑著遞了一份零食過去
看看生活的方方面面都很舒服。
只是想到我有機會體驗各種各樣的生活，我覺得上帝沒有欺騙我。
失去一個人後，我們總是說很多遺憾，
比如，不要等到失去了才知道自己愛誰，比如，珍惜眼前的人，等等。
但我很感激失去的經驗，
感謝他出現在我的生活中，因為我的固執而不斷地告訴我：
你必須明白愛只是生活的一小部分。
沒有誰就沒有誰。
對失戀者來說這聽起來像是胡說八道。
但這也是事實。
我現在也有我愛的人。
"Love is just a part of life."
"No you can, but it's better to have you."
When I was young, I asked him whether he loved me or not, and how much he loved me, and got such an answer.
At that moment, I collapsed.
And then he said goodbye.
Not only because of his answers, but also because his behavior is common in life.
He really just regards love as a small part of his life.
I have to review by myself before the exam. I don't want to be disturbed by anyone.
When preparing for an interview, I will concentrate on changing my resume, doing a mock interview and finding alumni relationship.
Playing games is willing to play with familiar friends, is to win, will not deliberately lose to me.
I will accompany my family and friends when I go home during the holiday. I will not chat with me in another city all the time.
After being together, we spend less and less time together.
Different professional courses, different things to learn and different circle of friends.
Sometimes I feel that I have never known the person I know.
I don't know his past. I don't know what he has experienced, what kind of story he has, what kind of scenery he has seen.
Sometimes I think, is he so indifferent because I have known for a long time that I am just a person who accompanies him for a long time?
The more you think about it, the more scared you are.
So there was the question and the answer.
But how could it be like this?
What is true love? Don't you have to need each other's help all the time?
It's OK without you, but it's better with you. Doesn't it mean that everyone can leave who?
After breaking up, it's the most sad time.
Do not want to go out, draw the curtains, all day to close themselves in the dark room.
I began to wonder if I was worthy of being loved?
If so, why do people think it's OK without me?
Is he too bad, or life ah love ah should be so?
In those days, I thought a lot.
Intimacy is something that most people spend their whole life exploring and learning, and it is difficult to really learn.
Because people's talent for creation is limited, and each kind of creation may not bring good results.
Especially in dealing with interpersonal problems.
Most of our methods and theories of dealing with each other are derived from the experience we have seen and experienced.
Every time you meet a new person, you will unconsciously use the positive experience method of getting along with other friends to apply to this person.
For example, chat content, such as appropriate care, such as birthday gifts, are all derived from experience and gradually explored, and eventually form the exclusive mode of getting along with the new person.
And the intimacy between lovers makes the brain system insufficient.
Because that person is different from a friend and needs to be closer.
So we prefer to deal with the intimate relationship with our partner in the form and relationship with our parents.
As a result of the lack of getting along with my parents since childhood, I have a lack of understanding of this intimate relationship and a lack of sense of security.
When I was a child, I was afraid of losing and no one around me. The more time you spend with your partner, the more exposed you are.
Because I don't have the confidence to grasp other things, only this person.
At the moment when the emotional balance begins to tilt, it will only become more and more unbalanced, and eventually one side will fall to the end.
Later, I spent a long time alone.
Also spent a long time to think about what you want to do and what kind of person you want to be.
Play the game, but not to accompany who, not to please who, just enjoy in the face of problems, with friends in the game kill four, also be killed by others, also wantonly laugh.
Prepare for the interview, but not to appear in front of others how fierce, just to step by step closer to the final goal, so insist on paving the way for yourself.
Or just go out for a walk alone, see the pupils buy a drumstick to eat after school, smile innocently, see the two couples in the street shop busy cleaning up their own shop, also smile to say hello to the old customers, see the lovers quarrel on the road, the boy accompanied by smile handed a snack in the past
It's very comfortable just to look at all the ways of life.
Just thinking that I have the opportunity to experience all kinds of life, I feel that God does not deceive me.
After losing a person, we always say a lot of regret,
For example, don't wait to lose to know who you love, for example, cherish the person in front of you, and so on.
But I'm very grateful for my lost experience,
Thank him for appearing in my life and persistently telling me just for obstinacy:
You have to understand that love is just a small part of life.
There is no one without whom.
This sounds like baloney to the lovelorn.
But it's also true.
I also have people I love and love now.
A few days ago, someone commented: "after a long time, you gradually lose your self-care ability, and you can't leave him any more."
He replied: "no one in the world can't do without anyone. We are together just for the better."
I don't think it's a sign of not loving me anymore.