The Five Stages Of Relationships戀愛的五個階段Falling in love is something that just everybody goes through in their lifetime,戀愛是每個人一生都會經歷的事情even if it’s only once.哪怕只有一次When you fall in love with somebody,當你墜入了愛河you begin to realize that being in love isn’t the hard part –就會發現戀愛並不難the hard part is working to maintain the relationship.難的是努力維持戀愛關係Every relationship is different,每段戀愛都不一樣which is why it’s difficult to navigate your way through them.所以很難在愛河中找到正確的航向You can’t always use techniques that have worked for you and your other partners in the past.你不能總是用老一套和新伴侶相處From what we can tell,就我們所知relationships typically go through five stages.戀愛通常要經歷五個階段The way you handle these bumps in the road will predict how the relationship itself will turn out.你處理問題的方式預示著戀愛的走向It’s difficult for a lot of people to recognize these stages in relationships.很多人都難以認識到戀愛中的這些階段 However，然而 the inability to recognize what is happening in your relationship can easily cause it to fall apart.如果你不知道你們之間發生了什麼 關係很容易破裂 Learning to identify these stages and how they affect your relationship瞭解這些階段 知道它們會怎樣影響一段關係 will come in handy when you and your partner are going through them.是對戀愛中的情侶非常有用的 One – The Romance Stage一 浪漫初期When we fall in love with somebody,我們墜入愛河時it’s hard for us to recognize their bad qualities.會很容易忽略對方的缺點We get so caught up in the pure fascination we have for them我們被他們的魅力所吸引that we fail to see anything wrong with them.看不到對方任何缺點 While we are seeing our partners through a screen of perfection,我們從完美的視角來看待伴侶they are also seeing us the same way.他們也同樣這樣看待我們But this seemingly endless dream doesn’t last forever.但這個看似永無止境的夢不會永遠持續下去 Typically this stage doesn’t last more than two years.這個階段通常最多隻能持續兩年Let’s dive a little deeper, and look at the Romance Stage through the lens of evolution…讓我們從進化的視角深入審視浪漫初期 When the human race developed,在人類發展的過程中nature wanted to create something to ensure that our species wouldn’t become extinct.大自然想要創造一些東西來確保我們的物種不會滅絕Thus, human beings were born with reproductive organs因此 人類天生就有生殖器官 and thought processes to communicate our feelings toward one another.有溝通彼此間感情的意識 As nature continued to adapt,隨著對自然的適應humans eventually developed the feeling we now call love.人類最終發展出了我們現在稱之為愛的感覺This allowed us to bond with one another and form intimate relationships.這讓我們彼此聯絡 形成親密的關係However, when we fall in love,然而 我們墜入愛河時we tend to fall in love with somebody我們往往會愛上who wouldn’t normally be considered compatible with us.常被認為是跟我們合不來的人Although we may see them as someone who makes all of our dreams come true,儘管我們可能認為他們是讓我們所有夢想成真的人they also have the capability to do the opposite.他們也有能力做相反的事情But why would nature intend for us to fall in love with someone so incompatible?但為什麼大自然要讓我們愛上一個水火不容的人呢 Typically, we fall in love with people通常 我們會愛上別人because they’re personality traits are opposite to ours.因為他們的性格特徵與我們相反This allows us to fit together like pieces of a puzzle.這使我們能夠像拼圖一樣拼在一起This person’s good traits compensate for our bad ones這個人的好品質可以彌補我們的缺點and vice versa.反之亦然And when you fit these two puzzle pieces together,你把這兩塊拼圖拼在一起it creates a new piece.就會產生一塊新的拼圖A piece that the puzzle could never be complete without這一塊讓拼圖完整起來a piece of nature more resilient and more likely to survive and ensure the continuation of the human species.讓大自然更有復原力，更有可能生存下來，確保人類物種的延續When we look back on it,我們回首往事時we often wonder how we could have fallen in love with somebody 總是不明白我們怎麼會who was so different from ourselves.愛上一個與我們如此不同的人呢But nature intended for us to fall in love,但是大自然要讓我們墜入愛河and it made sure we would它讓大腦釋放所謂的“感覺良好”荷爾蒙by having our brains release what we call “feel-good”hormones 來確保我們墜入愛河including oxytocin, phenylethylamine, serotonin, and dopamine.包括催產素 苯乙胺 血清素和多巴胺These hormones give aid to a biochemical process這些激素有助於生化程序that rids us of stressors and fills us with infatuation.這讓我們擺脫了壓力 充滿了迷戀This is why it’s so hard for us to recognize our partner’s flaws.這就是為什麼我們很難認識到伴侶的缺點These hormones hide our flaws這些荷爾蒙會隱藏我們的缺點and encourage us to do whatever we can to keep the romance alive.並鼓勵我們盡我們所能保持浪漫While we aren’t actually lying to our partners,雖然我們沒有對伴侶撒謊we’re wearing a mask of adoration.但我們戴著崇拜的面具Taking off this mask and revealing who we really are摘下面具 展現真實的自我may influence our partner to leave,可能會讓我們的伴侶離開so we keep it on.所以繼續戴著面具Knowing this知道了這一點In order to avoid any major confrontations and confusion With your partner.為了避免和情侶產生大沖突和混亂you can work on bringing up somewhat difficult topics with them.你可以和他們討論一些較難的話題Such as whether or not you both want children or wish to be married.例如想不想要小孩或結婚Although this infatuation stage makes it seem like everything is fine and peachy,雖然此迷戀階段讓一切看起來都很美好It is inevitably wears off但會不可避免地消逝At this point in time,此時此刻you may look at your partner，你可能會看著你的伴侶realize out of nowhere然後突然意識到that they’re the most incompatible person to yourself that you could ever think of.他們是你能想到的最水火不容的人This tends to happen when either of you 這常常發生在begin to worry about a sort of permanence in the bond.你或對方開始擔心這種關係是否持久時 This could include dating exclusively,這可能包括單獨約會moving in together,同居getting engaged,訂婚or whatever else may worry you when it comes to permanency.或者另外一些 想到永恆 你可能會擔心的事This is where the next stage kicks in…這就是下一階段開始的地方Two – The Power Struggle Stage二 權力鬥爭階段When we think of relationships,當我們考慮人際關係we tend to think of我們會去想the picture perfect ones that we see in movies or read about in novels我們在電影或小說中看到的完美畫面This makes it easy for us to assume that our relationships can never be perfect這很容易讓我們認為我們的關係不可能完美unless they’re identical to the ones we’ve seen portrayed.除非它們和我們看過的描繪一模一樣This stage causes a lot of tension and pain between partners,這個階段會令伴侶緊張和痛苦due to the fact that the peachy keen love you once had has disintegrated before your eyes.因為曾經的桃色愛戀已經在你眼前消失We sometimes replace these missing emotions with anger,我們有時會用憤怒來代替這些缺失的情緒which leads to more problems in itself.這導致了更多的問題We stop focusing on what used to make our partners seem so perfect,我們不再關注那些讓伴侶顯得完美的東西and we begin to recognize only what makes them seem almost repulsive to us.開始認識到什麼讓他們看起來讓我們厭惡When couples go through this stage in their relationship,當夫妻關係經歷這個階段時one of them will usually become withdrawn其中一個通常會變得孤僻They feel betrayed他們覺得被背叛了because their partner has turned into a completely different person因為他們的伴侶變得from the one they originally fell in love with.和最初相愛時完全不同When one partner does this,當一方這樣做時the other will pursue them by demanding attention另一方則透過吸引注意來追求他們all the while feeling afraid of being emotionally abandoned一直害怕在情感上被拋棄While this stage is usually very difficult for most couples,雖然這階段對大多數夫妻來說都很困難it also presents the chance to look into yourself它也提供了一個審視自己的機會and re-establish your independence in the relationship.重新建立你在這段關係中的獨立性Sometimes this stage takes a toll on people,有時這個階段會對人造成傷害and they begin thinking that all of their effort was just a waste他們開始認為所有的努力都是浪費and it would take too much work to rebuild what they once had.重建他們曾經擁有的東西需要太多的工作This is when couples tend to split apart –這是情侶分手的時候in order to search for somebody who they think為了尋找他們認為would be more suitable for them.更合適他們的人This is also why most divorces happen during this stage.所以大多數離婚都發生在這個階段Three – The Stability Stage三 穩定階段If you and your partner learn to confront each other respectively about your issues如果你和你的伴侶學會分別面對彼此的問題and recognize your own issues as well,並認識到自己的問題you move on to this stage.你們就到達了這一階段After getting through the bumps in the road,經歷了路上的坎坷之後you and your partner fall into a deeper and more thrilling love than ever before.你們陷入了最深 最令人興奮的愛情Although you may have wanted to at first,雖然一開始你可能想那麼做you now realize that you cannot change your partner,但你現在意識到你不能改變你的伴侶and you have no wish to try anymore.你也不想再試了You see them for everything that they are,你看到他們的一切the good and the bad,好與壞and you’re willing to accept it.你願意接受它Although most individuals would want to plant themselves into this stage of a relationship,儘管大多數人都想穩定在此階段doing so can make it easy for them to become bored.這樣做還是很容易乏味After a while,過一段時間you may begin to realize that the thrill of being in love is wandering away,你可能開始意識到 戀愛的快感正在消失and you need something special to keep it alive.你需要一些特別的東西來保持它的活力Partners typically resolve these issues by creating shared experiences雙方通常透過分享經歷來解決這些問題and maintaining the feeling of adventure in their relationship.並且保持冒險的感覺Four – The Commitment Stage四 承諾階段When it comes to relationships or partnerships,當涉及到人際關係或搭檔關係時people often associate commitment with marriage人們常把承諾與婚姻聯絡在一起– even though that’s not typically what this stage is supposed to represent.儘管這並不是這個階段的典型代表However…然而while many couples make the mistake of marrying while still in the romance stage of their relationship而許多情侶錯在戀愛階段時就結婚this is the stage in which you and your partner are actually ready for marriage.在此階段 你和伴侶真正準備好結婚When you and your partner reach this stage,當你和伴侶到達這個階段時you have both realized that你們都意識到you don’t need each other,你們不需要對方you both want each other.而是你們都想要對方You’ve recognized that you both have faults你瞭解到彼此都有缺點and neither of you are perfect.人無完人But even though you recognize these shortcomings,但即使你認識到這些缺點you still desire to be with each other,你們仍然渴望在一起And you both fall into an endless wave of balanced, adventurous freedom.陷入了無盡的 和諧又刺激的自由With that said,話雖如此many people trick themselves into believing that since they’ve gotten this far,許多人騙自己：既然他們走了這麼遠and it feels so good,還感覺很好that their work as a team must be done.那麼他們作為一個整體的工作必須完成Often they also tend to sacrifice their own goals in life通常他們也傾向於犧牲自己的人生目標to spend more time with their significant other instead.花更多的時間與他們的另一半在一起Or they become lazy in maintaining their emotional connection.或者漸漸懶得去維繫感情The truth is,事實上both of you are growing and evolving,你們都在成長和進步so your work as a couple is never done所以你們作為夫妻的努力永遠不會結束– you will always have to rediscover each other.你們總是需要重新探索彼此Five – The Bliss Stage五 極樂階段 Once you’ve reached this stage,一旦你達到這個階段you and your partner become consciously aware of your love for each other你和伴侶會意識到你們對彼此的愛and you decide to move out into the world to show it.並且你們決定向世界展示它And, as nature gave you life and the ability to create such a blissful experience together,自然賦予你生命和能力去創造幸福的體驗it now calls on you to give back.它現在需要你的回報Lots of couples decide to give back to society by donating to charities,許多夫婦決定透過向慈善機構捐款 撫養孩子raising children,來回報社會volunteering in their community,在他們的社群做志願者or starting a family business.或者創辦一個家族企業But remember…但是記住If you and your partner have been together for a long time,如果你和你的伴侶在一起很長時間了you must be sure to continue nurturing your relationship你必須確保繼續滋養你們的關係so problems don’t arise.這樣才不會出現問題Although relationships can be tough sometimes,雖然有時關係會變得很困難it’s important to learn how to handle things effectively.但學會如何有效地處理事情是很重要的Falling in love isn’t something that occurs all the time.墜入愛河並不是經常發生的事And when you begin to recognize the stages in your relationship,當你開始認識到你們關係的各個階段時it becomes easier to deal with them properly.正確處理他們就變更容易Remember that it’s natural to lose certain feelings for people at times,記住 對別人失去特定感情是很自然的and not everything lasts forever.並不是所有的事情都是永恆的But that doesn’t mean you have to regret it.但這並不意味著你一定要後悔All in all,總而言之putting in the time and effort to nurture your relationship投入時間和精力來培養你的人際關係will pay off in unimaginable ways.會以不可思議的方式得到回報What do you think?你認為呢？If you’re in a relationship, which stage are you in right now?如果你正在談戀愛 你現在處於哪個階段And what do you find the most challenging about that stage?你覺得這個階段最具挑戰性的是什麼Let us know in the comments below請在下面的評論中告訴我們If you enjoyed this video, give it a thumbs up, and share it with your friends如果你喜歡這個影片 點贊並轉發分享so we can keep making them.我們就可以繼續製作影片For more videos like this, hit the SUBSCRIBE button, and remember to click on the notification bell更多類似影片 點選訂閱按鈕和通知鈴– so you get notified when we post a new video.當我們釋出新影片時 你會得到通知Thanks for watching!謝謝收看